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Saturday 27 June 2026 17:00:00 GMT
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Sexual fawning is what can happen when we go into a fawn response in sexual contexts. Even with a safe partner, and even when there’s verbal consent or an outward expression of “yes,” there can still be parts of the body internally saying no, wanting to slow down, wanting something different, or not actually having the capacity for the experience that’s happening. One of the difficult things about sexual fawning is that we often don’t fully register those internal signals in real time. Fawning is commonly blended with freeze, so there can be a numbing or disconnecting experience in the body. You might become less aware of yourself and more hyper-focused on the other person, their needs, their pleasure, or maintaining connection. A big part of sexual fawning is performing appeasement. Performing enjoyment. Performing connection. And because of that, afterward you can sometimes leave an experience feeling weird, confused, disconnected, dysregulated, or just vaguely “off” without fully understanding why. That feeling itself can sometimes be important information. A cue to pause and wonder: was I actually present with myself during that experience? One supportive place to start is learning what freeze feels like in your own nervous system. Maybe your body gets stiff. Maybe you stop tracking your own wants. Maybe you go numb, dissociate, or become overly focused on your partner. Maybe your breathing changes or you stop feeling connected to your body altogether. When you start to notice those cues in real time, it can be supportive to pause and check in with yourself. Something as simple as: “Can we pause for a second? I just want to check in with myself.” That moment of orienting back toward your own internal experience can create more choice. From there, maybe your body wants to slow down. Maybe you need more time, more breath, or more connection. Maybe you want to do something different entirely. Or maybe your nervous system doesn’t actually have capacity for a sexual experience in that moment and would rather be held, cuddled, or simply close without performance. I talk much more about sexual fawning in my upcoming book, Tired of Being Good, which comes out July 28 on Amazon. Also — beginning May 15, my signature course Venom will be 83% off before it’s gone permanently. Mark your calendar. #somatichealing #fawnresponse #peoplepleaser
Sexual fawning is what can happen when we go into a fawn response in sexual contexts. Even with a safe partner, and even when there’s verbal consent or an outward expression of “yes,” there can still be parts of the body internally saying no, wanting to slow down, wanting something different, or not actually having the capacity for the experience that’s happening. One of the difficult things about sexual fawning is that we often don’t fully register those internal signals in real time. Fawning is commonly blended with freeze, so there can be a numbing or disconnecting experience in the body. You might become less aware of yourself and more hyper-focused on the other person, their needs, their pleasure, or maintaining connection. A big part of sexual fawning is performing appeasement. Performing enjoyment. Performing connection. And because of that, afterward you can sometimes leave an experience feeling weird, confused, disconnected, dysregulated, or just vaguely “off” without fully understanding why. That feeling itself can sometimes be important information. A cue to pause and wonder: was I actually present with myself during that experience? One supportive place to start is learning what freeze feels like in your own nervous system. Maybe your body gets stiff. Maybe you stop tracking your own wants. Maybe you go numb, dissociate, or become overly focused on your partner. Maybe your breathing changes or you stop feeling connected to your body altogether. When you start to notice those cues in real time, it can be supportive to pause and check in with yourself. Something as simple as: “Can we pause for a second? I just want to check in with myself.” That moment of orienting back toward your own internal experience can create more choice. From there, maybe your body wants to slow down. Maybe you need more time, more breath, or more connection. Maybe you want to do something different entirely. Or maybe your nervous system doesn’t actually have capacity for a sexual experience in that moment and would rather be held, cuddled, or simply close without performance. I talk much more about sexual fawning in my upcoming book, Tired of Being Good, which comes out July 28 on Amazon. Also — beginning May 15, my signature course Venom will be 83% off before it’s gone permanently. Mark your calendar. #somatichealing #fawnresponse #peoplepleaser

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