Adele Marchant
Region: US
Saturday 27 June 2026 15:54:00 GMT
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_briannaarnold :
We love the queens code
2026-06-27 21:13:44
100
christine :
But the overwhelming disappointment when those things you communicate never come to fruition…
2026-07-12 15:57:40
301
ABQ Chick ᥫ᭡ :
“It makes me so happy to have fresh flowers in my home each week but I’m so bad about doing that for myself.”
2026-07-13 13:50:06
1197
apandaportner :
That’s great advice. If I just dump my feelings on my hubby he gets really overwhelmed and frustrated
2026-06-27 18:30:05
1319
Kate :
We started couples counseling last week. My husband's first homework was to give me one intentional hug per day...... He did it the first day. I have reminded him. Can't wait to tattle to the therapist this Tuesday 🫠
2026-06-28 21:57:09
347
morgs🦦 :
And what if it’s “I want you to ask me more follow up questions and have deeper chats with me” 🫣 having a hard time verbalizing that one nicely
2026-06-28 22:50:45
176
Aloha :
I’ve tried that. 5 years in and I’ve expressed, I’d love it if we went out on a Friday night and you stayed over. He does it once and we are back to the usual. Now it’s a me problem.
2026-06-27 21:03:34
173
Emmy Merritt :
I support this, and also the framing! Men are like dogs… they understand negative reinforcement and consequences but they are MOTIVATED by positive reinforcement. Once I started really focusing on how the good stuff made me feel supported / considered / loved / appreciated, it was very easy for him to take that feedback and implement it consistently. But with that, since I know that’s how his brain works, I prioritize providing that positive feedback. My husband gets me flowers every time he goes to TJs. I like this a lot, because I love flowers and I love putting together arrangements and at TJ he can get me 2-3 kinds of flowers and I can make something beautiful vs him getting one 20$ bouquet that has the died flowers and daisy’s I don’t like. Instead of saying ‘I don’t like those flowers please get different ones’ which makes him feel like he messed up instead of what he intended to be a kind act, I said ‘I love it when you pick out a couple kinds in the small amounts, it makes me feel so considered knowing you picked them each each out. I have so much fun making the bouquet and every time I see them, I think of you and miss you!’ I also make a point to enjoy them in front of him. I turn them, refresh the water, and compliment them when hes around. Our love languages are working together in this way instead of against each other, we both get what we need out of it! Happily together x10 years and married for going on 5 ❤️
2026-07-15 21:37:14
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ellek :
the problem isn't communicating feelings, it's communicating complaints with no actual desire attached to them; the "action item" is the desire, so figure out what you want and ask for that. it requires you to bypass your ego and what's phenomenal is that if you do that a few times, and express gratitude when they complete it, they remember the action item in the future without you having to ask. but if you get stuck in the complaint neither of you gets anywhere
2026-07-13 13:19:31
115
SRH :
If your own husband doesn’t what things to do to make you feel special, he’s not your husband …. If I were to say that, the first thing my husband would do would either get me a random coffee , or take me on a date. It’s not rocket science . Marry MEN rather than BOYS
2026-07-17 15:36:44
5
KᘿᒪᘿSᕼᓰᗩ ✨💅🏾 :
This just .. really made it alllll click for me girl !
2026-08-18 12:54:33
9
LT :
This 👏🏻 so much this! I used to get butt hurt about my husband not doing these things on his own, and felt like if he wanted to he would do it naturally. Once I started being clear and direct, he has never said no 🤷🏼♀️I have to be clear, like take me to here, or do this with me, and he does it. Is it ideal, no, but it’s what I’m working with.
2026-06-30 18:17:51
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Dawn Borealis :
Ngl. He’s an engineer, I’m a very sensitive project manager. I made a detailed living document with almost exclusively action items and focus on scientific thinking, function, results. His natural ability to participate is powerfully higher and feels much more equitable.
2026-07-03 22:49:56
9
msmagrod :
Yes. I agree. My bf wants to do things i want but he doesn’t know what i want so when i tell him it’s funny because he’s like a golden retriever and always feels appreciated doing action items.
2026-06-29 18:38:22
34
𝓐𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓪♥︎ :
This is so true. I either say I need you to do this because it'll make me happier or don't do that because it'll piss me off. My man responds well to this.😂
2026-06-29 17:58:14
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Moonflower 🌙 :
Mine is pretty perceptive to what is happening in my body. If I express an emotion with a physical sensation attached to it (heart feels heavy because I’m anxious, for example) he is quick to become curious, offer comfort, and likes to offer me solutions. I honestly really enjoy that his mind works that way.
2026-07-13 23:15:40
9
Isaiah Patterson :
1 .Yes!!! 2. If this has not worked for you the communication techniques is NOT the problem.
2026-06-30 22:59:14
7
ya yeeeet :
I just tell me exactly what hurts me and what will help me and he does it, I've realized that I was being childish for him to figure out my feelings all the time when I wouldnt take that from him.. we've learned and grown and now ik hes willing to do anything and everything for me if i simply explain myself correctly
2026-07-13 19:14:04
10
Vanessa_Z :
Ah, you know what you're right. Because sometimes he doesn't tell me the action items he likes and like you said, I'm not a mind reader. So I really don't know, and vice versa
2026-06-30 20:30:40
12
B4ttsMcGee :
Problem is when I give him the literal blueprint of how to make me happy all the exact ways even exact words for reassurance and he does none of them. None.
2026-06-29 13:51:43
15
Teagan Rousan :
Wait I love you
2026-07-08 18:45:03
8
Dedon :
That’s so true and it works 💘
2026-06-29 04:06:47
7
angel 🧿 :
I tell him but he still doesn’t do it lol I said to him: it would make me really happy if sometimes you buy me flowers or pick them out somewhere and plan dates. Months later still didn’t do it lool
2026-08-10 20:40:59
3
tgervasi0 :
Level up and simply don’t teach a man to be a man and go find one that does all of your needs without question
2026-08-19 22:36:50
3
Saddabet :
Figure out what you like and do it for yourself
2026-07-13 20:34:17
3
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