You could argue that I was more “spiritual” when I gave birth to my first two. I was in deep. Crystals, angel school, tarot card readings, energy healers, manifestation, reading alllll the channeled texts, akashic records, connecting with guides, etc etc..But it was all counterfeit. And how do I know? Because birth is the most spiritual experience in the world. It’s the closest to heaven that you’ll get while still living. You are bringing life into this world. And it doesn’t matter if it’s vaginal, c section, etc.. But i can tell you what matters is your relationship with Jesus. And i didn’t have one during my first two births. I was separated from THE creator and I felt it. I felt the separation so deep. I not only felt the fear, i let it consume me. I remember telling Steven, “i am never doing this again.” And then I found Jesus, and i read the entire Bible, cover to cover. I gave up everything and followed him. And i prayed hard for a baby, and he gave me two. My entire pregnancy was different because I had the strength of the lord. I was locked in fear my first two pregnancies. I wouldn’t even workout because I was so scared of something happening. I listened to every word the “professionals” said. I leased my entire pregnancy and birth to them. This pregnancy was different. I relied solely on God. I didn’t let fear mongering get to me. I carried my twins longer than my second baby (40+4!!) despite being forced to sign AMA and being told they weren’t thriving inside me - that NICU would be better. And during the birth, despite the induction making me have one long contraction for an hour straight, no breaks. And the epidural not working, it was amazing. It was easier than both my previous births. Because I felt Jesus there. I felt him in my husband’s touch. I felt him in my doulas words. I surrendered to the pain and laid it at his feet. And even when I consented to an emergency c section for our second baby, i had no fear. I knew it was all happening for me. I trusted God every step of the way. And at the very last second, after i asked him for one last miracle, he guided one of the best c section doctors in the city…To lift my cervix and get our second baby out vaginally. What a testimony. I asked for a precipitous birth and the entire thing happened in 1 hour from my first strong contraction!! Jesus showed up for me in ways i cannot even put into words. This birth wasn’t the birth i was expecting. But it was the birth i so desperately needed. It changed me forever. I am incredibly grateful. And excited and hopeful to get the opportunity to do it again one day. 🙏🏽✝️ To my husband - you are the greatest gift God has ever given me. I love you so much @stevenbahns To my doula - thank you for every word. They were heard and felt even though I was unable to respond 🤣 @mariyathedoula.atx To my photographer!! @whitneyhughesphotography These are amazing. I am so happy I chose to document this birth. Thank you so much. - @thelaceybahns