melon :
i don’t want to give up on you yet. he was everything to me, anything he did good or “bad” made me fall even more in love with him. i wish he could’ve seen never cared about his imperfections, him opening up to me and telling me what he hates about himself made me feel more connected with him. he was the first person ive ever felt comfortable and safe with. he supported me, he was the first person ive wanted to try for. he was so kind, so gentle and genuine, if i could put into words how i feel about him i think i could write a 250 page novel. id do anything just to hear his voice again, for him to tell me that he loves me. being around him made me feel warm and happy, i always knew i was loved around him, if i could go back in time id replay the first time we talked on the phone while we talked about random things, i replay those awkward moments we had together in my head every day, looking back at them, we were just two stupid kids who didn’t know how to handle each other, everytime my phone buzzes with a text i hope it’s you, even if it’s to tell me how much you hate me now, just knowing that he thought about me for even a moment is enough to make my day. i wish things could’ve been different, i love him so much. now things are different, he doesn’t care about us anymore, he’s moved on while i still cling to our last conversation and mourn a person who’s still alive. i don’t want to let us go yet, im not ready. i still love him. i still have hope in my heart that we can move past how weve hurt each other in the past and we can rekindle and try again. id rather retry with him a million times then find another “fish in the sea.” hes more to me than just a fish in the sea. id be willing to do anything to just have him by my side, but hes lost interest in me now. i hate that another girl will one day replace me in his heart. i don’t want him to find anyone better than me. even if she can make him happier than i did, i want to be the only one that puts a smile on his face when he gets texted a goodmorning. i miss you, i don’t know what to do without you.
2026-07-28 00:01:31