Long update 🩷🩷🩷 This is more like our Eleanor. 🩷 Watching her flap her little arms to release some of that energy made my mama heart so happy. That is her. Eleanor has been through more in two years than most people go through in a lifetime. As her mama, I’m also the one she gets the most upset with sometimes. I understand that’s part of the job. But today she wouldn’t let me touch her. When all you want is to scoop your baby up and make everything better, sometimes the greatest act of love is giving them the space they need while they process something so incredibly big. She’s also coming off so many medications, and the doctors have reminded us that it’s very common for children to seem different while their little bodies adjust. Even knowing that, it still got me in my feelings today. I cried most of the day. And once I start crying lately, it feels so hard to stop. Stewart suggested we go for a walk. I remember thinking, “Sir… I already go outside.” 😂 But he meant a real walk. Outside the hospital. Down the sidewalks. About a mile. My first thought was, Does this man not hear me? I’m exhausted. I’ve eaten enough comfort food today to last a week. It’s 90 degrees outside. I do not want to walk anywhere. But he brought me my tennis shoes anyway and gently said, “Come on.” So I got dressed. Put my shoes on. And we walked. We talked about everything. We talked about how this journey has brought us closer to God. How living apart right now has made us appreciate each other even more. We laughed a lot. Something I needed so bad. Somewhere around the halfway point, I realized I wasn’t carrying the same heaviness I had been all day. For the first time, my mind wasn’t racing a hundred miles an hour. I just looked over at him and thought… I love this man so much. Sometimes he knows exactly what I need before I do. And sometimes he has to gently push me to take that first step. I also want to thank every single one of you who commented and messaged me after my post earlier today. I can’t explain how much your words have meant to me. This is one of the hardest seasons of our lives. There’s really no escaping it. It’s the kind of storm where you can’t run to the finish line because the wind and rain are just too strong. You simply put one foot in front of the other, keep your faith, and keep walking. Maybe that’s why the tortoise won the race. ❤️ Now for the really exciting news… ELEANOR IS OFF EVERYTHING except her feeding tube! 🎉 No more IVs. No more PICC line. All of her medications are now going through her feeding tube. And Monday… we’re being transferred to the inpatient rehabilitation floor!! This is such a huge milestone. She’ll be doing intensive speech, occupational, and physical therapy for 3-6 hours every day. The rehab floor is set up so differently than the ICU. It’s more open, there are play spaces, a gym, a music therapy room (which we already know Eleanor LOVES), and best of all… ✨ No constant beeping monitors. ✨ One thing I’m especially excited about is that Everly gets to come stay with us for a little while. She and Eleanor are only 13 months apart and they’re the sweetest little best friends. My older babies miss me so much, and they understand why we’re here, even though it’s hard. But Everly is only three. She understands as much as a three-year-old can. I really think having her little sister here will bring Eleanor so much comfort. So yes… my emotions are still a roller coaster. Thank you so much for being here through them. 🩷 But medically? Our girl is absolutely kicking butt. One slow step at a time… and look how far she’s already come. 🩷 - @tashajohnson_