cutie :
but i think i know how my love turned to anger. after two months of facing the fear that the person will leave me, i got really anxious and it became anger 'cause they kept making promises that they wouldn't leave and would rather fix things. and maybe they said such things just to comfort me that moment, but i'm sitting here in disbelief — kasi paano niya sinabing mahal niya'ko yet can leave me and find someone else that fast? was our 11 months something that was js casual to her? how did she throw away that 11 months? how could she throw away our memories as if they never existed? and i got so angry when my eyes were opened — i lost all my self respect trying to understand, trying to reach out, trying to fix things, and trying to communicate with someone who doesn't even does that same thing. the more fights we got, the angrier i got because bakit hindi mo magawa sa'kin? takot ka sa gano'n, pero you should know that hindi natin masu-survive yung ldr kung hindi mo ife-face yung fear mo. i looked like a fool trying to chase them while they didn't even get haunted by my silence — and i, was constantly anxious because of the space they gave.
love shouldn't feel like i'm the only making efforts to make it alive, gentle, and bearable. love shouldn't feel lonely. love shouldn't have to drain you this much to the point that i've lost all my self respect.
so yes, no love remains but anger resides. hindi dahil hindi ko minahal 'yun, but i felt so alone, disrespected, and i also felt i can be replaced in such a short amount of time.
2026-06-29 05:49:59