Lord FluffyOwelet007 :
after grieving the holy spirit and spiraling from porn addiction, 2 months ago I made an effort to walk away from porn. For possibly the first time ever, I actually read my Bible starting with the new testament. when I made an effort to escspe porn, I realized I wasn't just dry, I WAS EMPTY. I got saved at 13 and still lived in habitual and DELIBERATE sin. despite that, God kept charting my path, restored my relationship with my parents, and pruned me to where I am now. I prayed for change. and thought I was gone forever, but then I prayed for a changed in perspective. I stumbled 4 days ago, but while I didnt feel guilt, I felt a dull twisting ache and weight settle in. THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE EVER SINCE I LAST FELT CONVICTION YEARS AGO. He gave me a small perspective of how I make him feel when I sin and grieve the Holy Spirit. Since then, the temptation doesnt control me anymore, even if it is still there, its weak now. God and his Holy spirit have been here all along. I prayed for him not to take the Holy Spirit away, and for the first time possibly ever I called the Holy Spirit my light, guide, and sweet little dove, and most importantly...my friend. I came across this tiktok and actually took a small walk on my work break and apologized to the Holy Spirit and told him I am sorry for grieving him and didnt blame him for wanting to leave me. I sat back down and said "Come, Holy Spirit, fill me with your wisdom, light, peace, and guidance, and that I trust him. I then felt a strange ache but it wasnt extremely painful. It felt like a big yet insanely good stretch that makes you feel amazing afterwards, and while my apathy is still here (which he will heal with consistency, obedience, faith, trust, and time) it feels like walls have started coming down and a feeling thay someone is home in my heart again is there. The Lord and Holy Spirit have done far too much for me to doubt my faith and his existence, and am happy he is back home. Restoring my conviction and discernment for The Lord's/Holy Spirit's voice will take time, I am happy and truly believe connection is being restored. PRAISE THE LORD, AND THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT
2026-06-30 01:36:48