@elly.psychologist: If your mood constantly rises and falls depending on how someone else is acting, this isn't a flaw in your character. It's what emotionally abusive and unpredictable dynamics do to your nervous system over time. When someone's behaviour towards you is inconsistent, your body learns to use their mood as a signal for whether you're safe. When they're happy, you feel okay. When they're distant or cold or annoyed, your nervous system goes into threat response, even if nothing has actually happened. That anxious, urgent, can't-settle feeling is your body trying to eliminate the threat, which in an emotionally abusive dynamic means trying to make them happy with you again so you can feel safe again. Three things genuinely help with this. First, understand what's happening. Recognising it as a nervous system response, not a reflection of reality, gives you a bit more room to work with. Second, notice when you're in that activated state and pause. Put your hand on your chest and remind yourself out loud that you're safe right now. It sounds simple but it's you starting to generate safety from within rather than from them. Third, redirect your attention to something simple and physical in your immediate environment. Not to avoid the situation, but to show your body that there's no actual threat here. The more consistently you do this, the more you start to break the pattern that emotionally abusive dynamics create in your nervous system, where someone else's mood controls how you feel Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #emotionalabuse #emotionallyabusiverelationship #abusive #relationshipabuse #relationshiptok

Elly | Counseling Psychologist

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Thursday 02 July 2026 07:55:00 GMT