@elly.psychologist: There's a real difference between a relationship that's working and one you're holding together through hope and effort alone. Three things help you work out which one you're in. The first is whether both people are actually showing up in the relationship. A healthy relationship isn't perfectly balanced at every moment, but broadly both people contribute, both people make effort, both people take some accountability. If you're the one carrying everything, initiating everything, and somehow still being positioned as the problem in the relationship, that's not balance. The second is what happens when you argue. Conflict is normal in any relationship. What matters is where it goes. In a healthy relationship, conflict leads to some kind of resolution, some feeling of being heard, some small shift. When you're forcing a relationship, arguments go in circles, leave you more confused and drained than before, and nothing actually changes. The third is whether you're responding to the relationship as it actually is or to the version of it you're hoping for. A lot of people stay stuck in a difficult relationship because of the good moments, the early days, or the promises of how things are going to be different. But those aren't the relationship. The relationship is what happens consistently, most of the time. Change is possible, but only when someone genuinely acknowledges the problem, takes real accountability, and does the sustained work over time. Words without behaviour to back them up aren't change. They're just more of the same Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #relationshiptok #relationshiptips #relationshipproblems #toxicrelationship #relationshipissues

Elly | Counseling Psychologist

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Friday 03 July 2026 07:10:00 GMT