@elly.psychologist: Feeling completely confused after an argument, like nothing was resolved and you can't even pinpoint what went wrong, isn't a sign that you communicate badly. It's often a sign you're dealing with emotionally abusive behaviour rather than normal conflict. There are three patterns worth knowing. The first is denial, where the other person rejects your version of events so firmly that you start questioning your own memory. This is a classic feature of emotionally abusive dynamics, designed to make you doubt what you know to be true. The second is deflection, where suddenly the conversation becomes about you, your sensitivity, your reaction, and the original issue quietly disappears. The third is the hardest to spot because it can look genuinely vulnerable. The other person positions themselves as the one struggling or hurting, and because you care, you respond with compassion, and somehow end up apologising for something you didn't even do. All three of these are common tactics within emotionally abusive relationships, and they interfere with your sense of reality and your trust in your own perception, which is exactly why you're left feeling so confused afterwards. The instinct is to keep explaining yourself, to keep trying to make them understand, but in an emotionally abusive dynamic, that rarely works, because the conversation was never really built around resolution in the first place. The more useful response is to notice the pattern and step out of the conversation calmly, without needing to win it or prove anything in the moment. Protecting your own clarity matters more than getting the last word Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #relationshiptok #relationshiptips #relationshipproblems #toxicrelationship #relationshipissues

Elly | Counseling Psychologist

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Friday 03 July 2026 17:40:00 GMT