@alyssaaazander: We broke up 6 years ago and now we’re sending out wedding invitations 🥹 When we broke up I was convinced that the reason our relationship felt so empty and dark was because of what he was doing (or not doing). I didn’t see how much my criticism and judgment had been impacting him, and therefore driving a huge wedge between us. I had to sit with the harsh reality that my fixating on him was really just a way to avoid meeting something within myself. Pointing the finger at him was easier than looking at myself and where I was over giving, self sacrificing, and lacking any kind of boundaries. It was easier to make him wrong than take responsibility for my own role in our dysfunction. Now we’re engaged and our relationship is like night and day. We play more, laugh more, and have experienced more success personally and professionally than ever before. Our life is actually fun, peaceful, and calm… which was something I thought I’d lost all hope for. The other day I asked him why he thinks our relationship is so much better than before and he said “because you just started to focus on yourself.” And honestly, he’s right. Me applying pressure on him kept me from expanding myself. And the less pressure I put on him, the more he started to bloom himself. I think most of us don’t believe we have codependency, but it’s patterns like these that are ruining our most important relationships. ✨If you want to learn how to build a safe and secure relationship and the one shift that changed everything for our relationship just type “CLASS” in the comments and I’ll send you my free masterclass.✨ #fyp #relationships #anxiousattachment #breakup #codependency

Alyssa Zander

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Tuesday 30 June 2026 19:06:46 GMT