@elly.psychologist: People pleasing isn't a flaw in your personality, it's something your nervous system learned to do to keep you safe. If somewhere in your life someone else's discomfort felt genuinely dangerous, your body became very good at noticing it early and adjusting you before things got worse. That's people pleasing at its core, an automatic response rather than a conscious choice, which is exactly why it feels so hard to catch in the moment. But there's a small gap you can learn to find, the space between something triggering that people pleasing urge and actually acting on it. That pause is where change starts. In that moment, remind yourself that someone else's feelings aren't something you're responsible for managing. That doesn't mean you stop caring, it means you stop carrying weight that was never yours in the first place. Do something that tells your body it's genuinely safe, even if someone else is upset with you. Speak to someone you trust, go for a walk, whatever helps you settle. Then, if it feels right, hold a small boundary instead of falling straight back into people pleasing. It'll feel uncomfortable to begin with, because you're interrupting a pattern that helped you get through something difficult. But the people who are actually good for you will be glad to see you stop people pleasing, and the ones who aren't were relying on it more than you realised Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaserproblems#emotionalabuse #relationshiptok #relationshiptips

Elly | Counseling Psychologist

Open In TikTok:

Region: GB

Saturday 04 July 2026 18:30:00 GMT