Whitney Goodman, LMFT
Region: US
Wednesday 01 July 2026 13:16:08 GMT
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TheAlgorithmbroughtmetou :
“Thanks mom, but we are good with our parenting choices”, “I appreciate your opinion dad, but we are good with how we parent” If they argue or try to negotiate “Mom I don’t deserve this reaction from you-I think we will leave/hang up the phone” Then actually do it-not in anger not in retaliation calm and level headed. Sometimes these parents understand ACTION over words. 💯💯💯 I would also no longer make visits at their home-make it at a park or a restaurant or a community event or a flea market or a festival, the zoo, a museum etc. That way there is an easy time limit-it is easier to end the interaction when the activity is over as opposed to a home visit where the parent will try to keep you stuck in their house someway. Also-if they care about looks and expensive things-they will more likely be on their best behavior in public. 🤔🤔🤔When they criticize-take a deep breath-internally remind yourself you are an adult and you are a good parent NOT a good Son/daughter anymore. That is emotional emancipation. Being ok with our parents disappoint is hard to do if we are still trying to be a good Son or daughter-that means seeking their validation is above standing on business like an adult. I think that is key to getting over their criticism-when we break out of our childhood ROLE into adulthood and standing on business or firm in our convictions. 💯💯💯💯💯💯
2026-07-01 15:36:26
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Kara Bear :
I have a lot of questions. Are the young parents financially coasting on the older parents? It’s all good to be relaxed if you are benefiting from generational wealth, but I can also see the older parents being concerned about a lack of ambition. Maybe that is not the case! Also- are the parents setting boundaries around their space “no breaking our things”, “you may not play with that” vs criticism “you are not teaching them manners”. The young parents might be totally in the right and perhaps the older parents are just critical, but there is a lack of detail in this story that makes it hard to decipher.
2026-07-01 19:10:25
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Atley :
I believe the best thing parents can do for their children is cut off and remove access to grand parents who do not respect parenting dynamics. If you stay connected it can unknowingly impact and make you question your own knowing.
2026-07-02 17:39:04
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Roland McDoland :
My wife and I have worked together to create a supportive and financially stable environment for our kids who have special needs. We've made it clear that unsolicited advice about parenting preferences is not welcome, comments about or to the kids regarding their bodies or behaviors are not welcome, and if they don't follow our safety and supervision rules for our kids, they will only be seeing them over zoom. We are totally fine with them expressing their concerns, asking questions, or making suggestions on a phone call or otherwise separate from the kids so we can sort it out and realign as adults without the child needing to hear their caregivers arguing about them. It has gone well and because they value the continuation of the healthy relationships they have, they actually not only read stuff we sent them about our preferences and why we have them but also do independent research themselves. I will say...if you're looking for a heart to heart with your parent about how clearly their parenting was harmful to you or whatever, just put that on the back burner. Their apology is their changed behavior and it's all you're gonna get. Maybe when the kids are older you will be lucky enough to chat when they don't identify with their past actions and motives as much. It sucks to still have to be the most patient person in every interaction, with parent or child, but that is the cost of breaking the generational curses. Someone has to say, "Enough is enough and I'm willing to learn how to shoulder this instead of inflicting it on the next generation. We are trying to be shields. Perhaps framing it that way to your parents as, "We all agree that the way your parents and their parents "had" to do it was harmful and we agree there are technically better and healthier ways to do things. Maybe you felt that that wasn't possible for you for reasons you couldn't control but let's now work together to make sure nobody has to do this alone. Share the burden of labor and mind. Even the load and everyone has more of their best intentions available for action."
2026-07-01 19:48:21
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