Kylosis :
We were together for 5 years and I broke up with him 5 months ago. We were together since 16 but had been friends since 12. We were each other's first everything. At the start of our relationship, I thought of forever and he did too, until the first time we broke up at 19. 3 years in a relationship and he told me that he wanted to break up because he resented me for my mental health in our first year of dating. That reason is fine enough because my mental was so bad and he took on all of it, but to not have spoken about it for the 2 years we spent after? When I had worked on my mental health and we spent every day happy since? To find out that was how he viewed me all this time, it broke the "forever" in my mind. It took 3 months before we got back together, but we were never the same. I didn't believe in forever anymore, not for the next 2 years we stayed together, but I really tried. In the end, he wanted me to change who I was, claiming I didn't love myself and that I need to be more inviting to others. It took me 1 day to realize that, actually, I do love myself and this was who I was. He wanted me to change and I wanted him to accept me. In the end, we apparently had different goals in life. Goals that we had agreed on from the start, suddenly he didn't want anymore. He stopped showing up for me and giving me love, claiming that he would've if I put in the effort to change for him. I have flaws, of course, but most of them I worked on and I like to think I've improved as a person. He must not have agreed despite my efforts. I broke up with him 5 months ago, but mentally it was 9. When I had to spend 2 weeks away from home for work and realized how at ease I felt being without him. I contemplated it since, but still tried. In the end, I couldn't take it anymore. I sometimes find old videos and photos of us, and I'm at a stage where it doesn't fill me with regret or longing. I see me and him, young and foolishly in love like our world that we had planned won't crumble at our feet one day, and I smile. I loved him dearly and still have love for him, but I'll never choose him again. It was scary at first, but now I'm finally at peace.
2026-07-02 17:51:48