@helena_earls: Replying to @cynful peace learning who we are beyond being an emotional caretaker #cptsdhealing #cptsdrecovery #covertnarcissist #motherwound

Kelsea Mori :

I really struggled when I lost all my friends the minute I burnt out and couldn't provide the caregiving service I had been offering.... and realized that they didn't want me as a friend, they simply enjoyed the service I offered

abbypebbles :

I left the comment on becoming a therapist; I am a writer, a poet. I like nature and bugs and animals. I am amazing at swimming, i’m free dive certified. i’m silly and loving and whimsical and more than my trauma response career. I believe I love the job, but it’s hard work to balance that with learning what I endured.

WestchesterLatina :

We were programmed to self abandon. Once the CN mother passes. The real work begins. I know that personally.

✨amaris✨ | mostly yappin :

I really hate the conversation that “I did it to myself” cuz….no i didn’t. Like these conversations have to be more inclusive of neurodivergence. They have to

janemcart :

It’s SO exhausting. And you had no idea you were even doing it all those years. It was so automatic, like a reflex. It makes sense, in hindsight, why you often felt so confused and overwhelmed.

Biata👑 :

so hard to even know what to do w yourself now it’s like who are you when you’re not playing that role

Sarastiner :

Omg that’s my life 💯😳

Jessieallthetime :

You are right on the nose with this, down to the healthcare jobs and all. It took me 41 years to completely snap.

tornado_alley28 :

My best friend of 25 years who had other best friends all the time started therapy and she didn’t need me anymore. Snd at the time it was brutal because I felt discarded. But I was giving more to the relationship anyways. She was my most trusted friend. I got into therapy and I realized there are people I don’t need now either. And I’ve actually cultivated an amazing group of people who see and now me. We were friends bc we were in the same boat. We aren’t anymore

PR :

This reminds me in a funny way of the Mark Twain quote that “if you don’t lie, you don’t have to remember anything.” Well, when you actually start putting your real self out into the world, you don’t have to remember who to be.

Madein🇨🇦1969 :

And being constantly criticized feeling I needed to fix myself. I can fix anyone and in the past, I tried.

katebutler77 :

This was me! I can relate to this on so many levels.

snowmansplight :

Have you seen the movie Drop Dead Fred? It explores this mother daughter dynamic. It’s a great movie totally underrated. But a lot of people who haven’t faced this kind of emotional abuse and neglect don’t understand it and think it’s terrible. Sort of like the people who watch Lady Bird and think the daughter is annoying and the mother is just practical. But it touches on the lack of development of a sense of self. Highly recommend

Lisa Marie :

Becoming a nurse! 30 plus years in and I don't know how to do anything else and I don't want to do it anymore...

Frogs :

autism.get.in.tune :

I’m curious, what do you like to do??…now that I’m healing and separating myself from that identity, it’s almost like how do I connect with others and what do I actually like?

Darlene :

That’s heavy

frequencygirldoctor :

Erased.. wow

BabyBagelHam :

Wow, thank you for this. Just opened my eyes to a new facet of myself. 🙏✨

Alicia T. :

Or use what you know to counsel others in this situation - cuz there's a lot of us still working thru it.

Geo Doob :

yup.

autism.get.in.tune :

Girl. Yesss. Same. 🫂

wyluxe_ambassador :

HI! COLLAB? FOLLOW US

veganbirthdaycookie :

What do you do when your enmeshed mom starts being defensive/emotionally immature once you start to become more emotionally distant and not help as much? I’ve started to feel like I’ve been used and now I feel emotionally discarded. I can sense she’s not taking me stepping out of my role (as her emotional support/role reversal) very lightly.

Robin K | Type C & ADHD :

Girl this was my whole life. People liked me because of what I could do for them, and I bent over backwards to please them. I stopped doing that, by the way. I have healed from everything my mom did to me, and I am just unapologetically myself and stopped trying to earn people’s love. There’s hope. ❤️