@the_breath_geek: "Why do some people collect estrangements over a lifetime while others don't? Part of the answer may be temperament. 🧠 Geher et al. (2021) found that neuroticism — the emotional-instability trait in the Big Five — was linked to having more estrangements across life. In a second study, people higher in neuroticism reacted more strongly to social transgressions: more anger, more betrayal, less willingness to forgive — even for minor offences. 🔍 This fits the wider literature on hostile attribution bias — reading neutral or ambiguous behaviour as deliberate harm. Neuroticism is consistently tied to it. A careless comment, a distracted reply, a flash of frustration — all within the normal range of human behaviour — can register as something far more serious to a nervous system tuned to detect threat. 🧬 And neuroticism is substantially heritable: twin studies put it at roughly 40–60% genetic (Vukasović & Bratko, 2015). That raises an uncomfortable possibility — the sensitivity that produced an estrangement may itself be inherited, and inherited from the very parent being held responsible. ⚖️ This isn't a claim that parental behaviour doesn't matter, or that estrangements are never justified — some clearly are. It's about the specific subset where a parent's behaviour sat within the normal range but was experienced as harmful, and the fact that we have no cultural language for naming that. 📚 Geher et al. (2021) You're Dead to Me, Current Psychology. Vukasović & Bratko (2015) Heritability of Personality: A Meta-Analysis, Psychological Bulletin. #familyestrangement #psychology #neuroticism #genetics #mentalhealth"

Richard L. Blake

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Friday 03 July 2026 14:00:39 GMT