@stillbecomingmama: i want to push back on something i used to believe about getting through hard things. i used to think that the way you got better at something was by getting stronger. that the nights would get easier when i built up enough resilience or enough routine or enough of whatever quality i was currently lacking that was making them this hard. so i kept trying to get stronger. kept trying to find the thing inside myself that would make the 3am hours feel less like something i was barely surviving and more like something i was handling. and it never quite worked. not because i was not trying. but because the problem was never my strength. the problem was the story i was telling myself while i was in it. and the story required a specific ingredient to survive, which was isolation. it needed me to believe i was alone in it. because alone meant the difficulty was mine specifically and mine specifically meant i needed to be stronger specifically and round and round it went. and then the dots. and the story lost its ingredient. and the nights got easier not because i got stronger but because the isolation the story needed to keep running just quietly ran out. i was not weak. i was just missing information. the information was a map. #postpartum #newmom #postpartumsupport #momlife #momtok
