@cocoonmentalhealth: ya it’s your families fault again!! (Ok it might not really be, might just be based on family personalities, dynamics, random events 🫠) When our concept of our self is only built or felt or existing in the context of relationships: - meaning and purpose is only derived from doing or being something for others which is unstable so you’re prob feeling all over the place - external validation and affection is only thing holding up your sense of self so it plummets when you don’t have that - when you don’t do or feel something “perfect”, you cannot be compassionate to yourself and want to just get back to approval - the solid object permenance of a ‘self’ cannot emerge so it melts into others, “goes with the flow” but usually hits a point where you go “uh.. this isn’t working for meeee” 🌼 2 qs to ask yourself to go deeper
 1. when do I (my sense of self/voice/opinion) disappear? (when challenged, other people get emotional, pressure put on me, when I don’t have certainty) 
 2. how do I approach my emotions, thoughts and desires? (downplay, ignore them, deprioritise myself, catastrophise because I don’t believe in myself, bottle them away) there’s the work to start with :) start by noticing when you do this then slowly slowly how can you build, explore, validate and be a friend to yourself? developing it in reverse as adults is possible I promise :) x

Ellie 🌞 Therapist

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Region: AU

Monday 06 July 2026 07:53:21 GMT