@thepsycholotea: Whether you’ve already watched this happen, or you’re terrified it will happen after your breakup… I completely understand why it hurts. For many of us, what happens after the relationship somehow starts to redefine everything that came before it. We look at how they’re coping now and use it as evidence for how much we meant, or how real the relationship really was. But those two things aren’t the same. It might seem logical to assume that the person who hurts the most cared the most. And in some ways, there is truth to that. But psychology has shown us that coping mechanisms and attachment styles can dramatically change how grief is processed and expressed. Two people can experience the same loss and show it in completely different ways. So if you’re facing this dilemma, please don’t let your brain convince you that because they don’t look like they’re hurting, you didn’t matter enough, or the relationship wasn’t meaningful enough. Don’t let the ending rewrite everything that came before it. I could sit here and tell you to stop focusing on them and just focus on yourself. That’s what everyone says, right? But it’s not that easy. We can’t help noticing that they seem okay, then comparing that to how not okay we feel. So instead of telling you not to look, I’ll tell you this instead: Don’t believe everything you see at face value. Science tells us that grief and loss don’t always look like sadness. Sometimes they hide behind masks. Stay strong. 🤍 #r#relationshipadviceb#breakuprecoverye#exn#nocontacta#avoidant

The PsycholoTea | Kelly MSc

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Monday 06 July 2026 10:48:03 GMT