toast :
Liking someone for 6 years doesn't just go away. From kinder 1 to grade 12 we knew each other’s names and faces, but we were never really close. we barely chatted. we barely played games. I liked her since kinder 2 to grade 5 but after elementary we didn’t talk for 4 years. After finally moving on I told myself it was over. That whatever feelings was there was just a kid thing a simple poppy crush. but then after 4 years we chatted, we played and we even have a streak and a streak pet, still just as friends, but closer, then one day we hung out. we watched the new movie of spider man, brand new day, After all those years, we finally hung out together, just the two of us, just one day. And in that one day, something shifts. A laugh. A conversation. A moment that felt different, her smile, her cute silent personality, something I will always recognize when it's about her, It's like stargazing, staring at one beautiful shining star, staring at such beauty that is too far to reach.. but then I felt something, I realized that, that poppy crush came back, I didn't even realize I'm staring at her, maybe because whenever I do, I felt that younger me that is yearning for her 4years ago, After that day, I did the stupidest thing a person can do, I didn't realize what I'm saying, but I asked her if I can court her. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t thought out. it just spilled out. Now the silence feels louder, and heavier. There’s a worry that it made her uncomfortable. Worry about that one impulsive moment erased everything. and worry that I will never have the same opportunity to be with her again. I got one moment to be with her and it brings back everything. But then everything went all out at once, and ruined everything. Maybe I should’ve stayed quiet. maybe I should've given us time, and maybe I should've let things be comfortable first. I don’t know what happens next. But I know I can’t pretend it didn’t matter. So I’ll sit beside the burden I handed to myself.
2026-08-25 04:34:10