@steadystateparent: Last night i broke down in front of my husband and said something i’ve never admitted out loud: I wish we could go back to before we had our second baby. The second the words left my mouth, the shame hit. Instant. Overwhelming. Like I’d said the one thing a “good mom” isn’t supposed to feel, let alone say. I braced for him to be hurt, or confused, or to try to fix it. Instead, he just… normalized it. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t try to talk me out of the feeling. He basically told me that of course this is hard, of course there are moments you grieve the family you had before, and that doesn’t mean you don’t want the family you have now. And honestly? That response did more for me than any amount of “you’re a great mom” ever could have. Because here’s what I’ve learned, both as a mom of two and as a licensed therapist who’s sat with so many moms in this exact season: the shame isn’t usually about the feeling itself. It’s about believing you’re the only one who feels it. And it was true… I didn’t actually want to go back. I wanted a break, I wanted more simplicity in our life in that moment, I wanted support. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt how much I loved my son. How much I wanted him. How much I needed him. But the tears, the overwhelm, the feeling of failure came anyway because of the shame. So many moms have thought this exact thought…wishing for the before, missing the version of life that existed before another kid changed everything, and never said it out loud. Not to their partner. Not to their friends. Not even fully to themselves. Because we’ve built a culture where admitting ambivalence about motherhood feels like admitting failure. It’s not failure. It’s honest. And the more of us who say it, the less power the shame has over the next mom who’s about to have this exact thought at 11pm and think she’s the only one. You are not the only one who’s felt this. Say it here, in the comments, so the next mom scrolling by at midnight knows it too. #perinatalmentalhealth #postpartumjourney #postpartumsupport #postpartum #motherhoodunfiltered

Rose|Steady State Parenting Co

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Tuesday 07 July 2026 02:51:40 GMT