@awakeningwithbrian: Whether you are anxiously or avoidantly attached, the issue is clear. You both have unresolved pain still living in your subconscious and body, and you are doing all these behaviors to avoid feeling them at all costs. One of you clings, attacks, gets louder to avoid that phantom pain of being unheard, invisible, and abandoned. The other person defends, shuts down, gets quiet, runs away to avoid the pain of losing themselves and deep, deep shame. It's clear that the more you try to avoid these pains, the more you end up doing those anxious, avoidant, disorganized behaviors to cope with them. They are all pain avoidance strategies, but the pain never goes away. It rots inside, gets louder, and blows up in one failed relationship or marriage after another. Generational trauma is passed down, and the cycle repeats, not just in your relationships, but through your kids. The madness only stops when you stop trying to avoid these feelings, stop trying to blame your partner, and start the journey deep within yourself.

Brian - Transformational Coach

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Tuesday 07 July 2026 17:27:47 GMT