@scott.austin.martin: You’ve been together 10, 20, maybe 30 years. And one day she says, "I can't do this anymore." To you, it feels like it came out of nowhere. It didn't. It came out of years of trying to communicate something you didn't yet have the capacity to receive. Every attempt to tell you how alone she felt was met with explaining, fixing, defending, minimizing, or shutting down. Not because you're a bad man. Because you were never taught how to stay present long enough to see and feel what she was experiencing. She wasn't asking for perfection. She was asking for what should be normal in a secure relationship. By the time contempt arrives, her body is no longer responding to today's conversation. It's responding to the story of the relationship. That's why telling her you'll do better rarely works. The environment has to change. And emotional capacity is a skill that can be learned. Capacity - Book link in bio. #relationships #menscoach #nervoussystem #emotionalcapacity

ScottAustinMartin
ScottAustinMartin
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Tuesday 07 July 2026 23:02:13 GMT
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tiktok1111.1111.1111
user9630851692801🇨🇦 :
His fyp please
2026-07-08 04:01:15
137
tlynne3377
tlynne7733 :
You just described the last 32 years with my husband. Still here hanging by a thread 😔
2026-07-11 18:10:30
1
sarahann867
Sarah Shelton :
I'm done sending these videos to him. They fall on deaf ears. I feel more validation and support from just reading these comments. I'm sitting here holding back tears. 16 years. This is such a lonely experience.
2026-07-10 03:03:47
6
imajotato
Jotato🌙🌻🦖 :
Been married 18 years. This is where I’m at right now.
2026-07-08 21:02:56
31
intrinsic1913
Illusive One :
Perfectly spoken and described. I left after 24 years of marriage. I could not be the emotional landfill any longer. It has been 7 years since our divorce. He married, again, 6 months after the divorce was finalized. And I am yet single...living and loving life. And there was therapy in those 7 years for me. It was necessary. Thanks for your insight.
2026-07-08 11:22:53
42
michelecarpinelli01
Michele Carpinelli :
I left after 34 years, I wish I could have explained this to him but I fear he wouldn’t get it anyway.
2026-07-09 03:10:43
15
craftyirishlady
denise :
Oh his this is true,, so I walked away, 25 years
2026-07-11 11:17:56
0
donnadeangrey
Donna Dean Grey :
I showed this to my husband & he said that he can find someone to show his pov to
2026-07-09 16:46:02
2
mjosee87
m-josee :
oh no he says it's me the problem and i always look for shit
2026-07-08 10:56:23
21
canisee08
canisee :
That’s me 27 years we separated 3 days ago
2026-07-10 02:21:11
7
justme_tiffany13
Tiffany :
yep, every time I told him how I was feeling. that was how he felt too. got tired of giving what I wasn't receiving. told him I was done and couldn't do it, he didn't even try to change my mind and in the last months living together proceeded to do all of things I had been asking for for years. solidified my decision, moved out almost 2 months ago. finally not walking on egg shells.
2026-07-10 10:21:37
1
kansashawk
Jayhawkerz :
my wife tells me I want "to talk" too much and I need to relax. so either I'm not asking the right questions or I'm not the right person.
2026-07-09 03:54:59
3
kristin_h5
kristin :
Too late
2026-07-10 16:30:03
3
loririggs641
loririggs641 :
Oh how I wish I could show this to my husband this is literally the story of my life
2026-07-09 04:28:04
8
mainerliser
Mainah Lisa :
I did this a month ago after 13 years....
2026-07-09 02:24:04
6
burned_notbroken
xoxo, cj •relationship burnout :
Yes!! This is exactly my experience and what I talk about as being the “burned out pursuer”. It’s nervous system collapse that cannot be healed by more conversations or “trying harder” in a way that requires the pursuer to continue to be the emotional engine for the relationship.
2026-07-08 16:05:27
12
annmb7
Oi Oi Oi :
Love your work! Your insights resonate so much.
2026-07-08 02:16:40
6
hazydaze94
HazyDaze :
I said all this and after 30+ years he left me instead of hearing me.
2026-07-08 05:30:34
7
cindypendleton8
cindy pendleton :
That's me! I left
2026-07-08 16:53:41
4
ioumail
Mary :
53 years and I’m completely done there’s nothing left
2026-07-08 22:40:13
4
starbright509
BriBri :
Agree. I tried to communicate my needs but was meant with silence and no response. No response is a response. I shut down and with being in my mid fifties, I want peace again.
2026-07-09 15:11:43
2
michellelorinser4
michellelorinser4 :
Or never once saying you are sorry
2026-07-09 16:32:04
3
pearl.m..russell
Pearl M. Russell :
I’m tired 😞
2026-07-08 22:53:59
2
marisa420bossbabe
Marisa Negron :
You’re singing my song 🎶
2026-07-08 19:14:08
3
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