@otti_ldn: My ‘First One In’ Theory 💌 : Someone has to go first, and be the ‘First One In’ to different forms of suffering. And when you zoom out over a lifetime, we are all the first ones in our friendship groups/social circles, to different forms of hardship. Or, if we haven’t heard of other people’s experiences, we feel like we’re the first. And through these difficulties, we contribute to an economy of experience. ⭐️ The theory doesn’t undo the suffering, justify it, make it worth it. All it says is that someone must go first, and you might find, there comes a day where your struggles give other people strength, or help them feel seen, or a bit less alone. 💌 The idea came from me going through something really challenging, and several years later one of my older brothers called me up and said ‘this thing happened to me, and I can’t tell you how much it helps knowing you’ve already been through it.’ I do think that most people (at least that I know) that have been through something hard, appreciate being able to be there for someone else going through a similar thing. ❤️ And if you are the first one in, right now, thank you for being so brave.🌻 - I have so much more to say on this, but here is a start. ⭐️ #benchchats
Ottilie
Region: GB
Wednesday 08 July 2026 14:53:39 GMT
Music
Download
Comments
Cheyenne Marks :
Infertility 🤍
2026-07-27 00:31:13
284
lindsay :
when i had my first miscarriage I justified it by saying I was our 1 in 3... and i was. i know its not real but I feel like I saved them from it.
2026-07-15 18:43:28
19
HP :
I was the first one in my friendship group to lose a parent. I was broken, and I found it so lonely as nobody could relate. Sadly now I’m not the first, and I realised how much I was able to help them and knowing that what they were going through was heartbreaking was awful but knowing they weren’t going to have to experience like I did alone has actually made me feel like I can make my awful experience a tiny tiny bit better
2026-07-09 19:14:26
352
bexx0990 :
I’m the first one in, but it seems I am with everything
2026-07-09 11:22:32
193
mo 💕♿️✨️ :
I am disabled. I have been disabled and lived with chronic pain since I was a little girl. My uncle was diagnosed with really aggressive cancer when I was 23 and he was 37. He trusted my opinions and felt safe sharing his pain with me. He passed in just three months. It was the first time in my whole life that I was grateful to be disabled. To have the experience to hold his hand through the end. To advocate fiercly for his comfort. It was all worth it for those three months. (I love you, Uncle Mar. ❤️)
2026-08-29 15:42:53
9
Adriana Mandell | Loss Mama 🪽 :
I’m going through this now and it sucks. At only 29 years old I have experienced holding my dead baby in my arms and having to plan a funeral for him 🥺💔 Meanwhile, all my friends got to welcome their babies home and watch them grow up. It feels like I always get the shit end of stick in life compared to all my friends. Everything is always harder for me in every way. It’s exhausting…
2026-07-26 03:22:48
15
Melinda 🎗️ :
My baby has brain cancer ❤️🩹
2026-08-31 06:46:48
6
𓆉 Whatsupcate 𓆉 :
Does it always have to be me for everything though? I’m sick of being first…
2026-07-10 17:50:31
83
JEN 🌹 :
It’s lonely being the first one in🥺🤍
2026-07-08 21:36:48
66
TJ :
going through this right now
2026-07-08 21:36:25
96
Abi :
First one in for everything it feels
2026-07-09 19:54:26
18
🐙 :
I feel like I am the first on3 in for everything
2026-07-08 15:31:40
78
Becky Cobb :
I needed this! I’ve just come back from a full day of treatment (Leukemia) and today was hard. This was the first video I opened. Thank you.
2026-07-08 16:58:46
95
Shannon Purpura :
The first one in….so that you can help the others find their way out. ❤️
2026-07-30 16:15:26
7
Sadiestockley :
I like thinking of it like someone’s gotta be the first one on the dance floor
2026-07-12 00:26:23
6
Jess’ Thyroid Cancer journey🦋 :
This broke me. The first of 3 sisters to go through thyroid cancer a year apart. I often wonder if I wasn’t the first would they have known and carried on living their lives 😢
2026-07-09 21:32:33
26
libertyfayxo :
I’m going through this right now. I’m the only friend in my friendship group that isn’t getting married either this or next year. I was engaged and meant to be too but he left and being surrounded by it with every friend is really hard and lonely.
2026-07-09 12:47:47
12
Ambers_pinkpath :
Such a powerful message, thank you. From a breast cancer survivor diagnosed at 26 ❤️
2026-07-09 14:08:50
10
raydreon :
Ten years ago I lost the love of my life, my grandma and my dad all within a year… it was easily the toughest and hardest period of my life.. but looking back, it also made me stronger, shaped me into the resilient person I am today. Who will always get back up, because I know I’ve managed to come back from worse..
2026-07-11 19:57:22
5
The girl I was at 20 🤍 :
This is such a beautiful analogy <3 xx
2026-07-08 19:05:12
8
Chantelle :
What if one person has experienced it all? Loosing parents & grandparents at the age of 39 know giving a shit about anything 8year relationship down the drain & you just don’t care anymore because it’s about time you out yourself first 🤷🏼♀️
2026-07-08 17:17:59
7
Honey bee 🍯🐝 :
🥺🥺 Loosing my dad my world crumbled. This then led to me loosing the ability to be me. My whole body shut down.Loosing the ability to speak no voice. Not being able to leave the house alone. Seeing things happen around you & being unable to voice my thoughts. This theory speaks volumes. Thank you! 🥺🥺 I’ve needed to cry for so long & this got me! Thank you x
2026-08-08 11:11:44
2
allieramosdaily :
How lucky am I to be able to support my friends when they one day have to know the pain I’ve been through ♥️
2026-08-01 17:05:31
3
Hilary - Wedding Photographer :
I was the first one in my friend groups to lose a parent 😞
2026-07-31 00:29:09
1
abigail Lynn 🪿 :
the first one going through infertility 🥺
2026-08-25 21:43:54
3
To see more videos from user @otti_ldn, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.