@philosophyminis: Why is it easier to leave a dreadful relationship rather than a mediocre one? Why do we find it easier to walk away from a genuinely terrible job rather than an okay one? According to the Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, this is known as the beta-region paradox. Gilbert argues that when we are faced with genuine suffering or hardship, our mind kind of mobilises, we rationalise, we act, and we devise a plan. But when we experience only mild discomfort, we do not recognise that something is wrong. The discomfort sits just below the threshold where we would actually do anything about it, and so we don't do anything about it. We just kind of adapt. Think of a job where they work you a bit too hard, or it is a bit too boring. Think of a flat or a house that is a bit too small. Think of a relationship where nobody is exactly unhappy, but nobody is flourishing either. In each case, the situation is never bad enough to force your hand. And so, you stay. You adapt. According to Gilbert, the solution to this is to reframe the problem. Rather than asking, 'Is this so bad I should leave?' ask the question, 'Is it good enough for me to stay?'

dustybill1212 :

A boss used to go on about the “fur lined mousetrap”. This was after I said that I was leaving, he wished that he could join me, but he was trapped. The Pink Floyd song ‘Time’ always resonated with me 😊

Taught by tictok :

Why do we start with a set of rhetorical questions when we could just say it directly?

Mike❤️ :

No reason to stay is a good reason to go.

vatreale :

but if you leave something decent you might not find anything better

Bevan May :

How is this a paradox? It makes complete sense. It would be a paradox if it was opposite.

eric :

“Is it good enough for me to stay” is a bad way of thinking about it. You may end up with none.

ruby :

Guys my bf is extremely sweet but very boring. He has no hobbies and have nothing to talk about. It’s like watching paint dry. I am not unhappy or anything but I am very BORED… like idk guys HELP

25k :

Perfect timing

Soz :

Leave job… leave partner… mhmm mhmm

Andrew Jnr Kip :

I thought it's common sence to leave a terrible job and stay in a rather okay job! this philosophy seem to question why would someone leave a genuinely terrible job and stay in an okay one!

shamsudeennotorious :

“Is it good enough for me to stay”

LZ :

Seeking perfection and absolute happiness in all areas of life doesn’t sound realistic or healthy either

Fraccoo :

Soo like when the tv remote is a just bit to far away?

howardmealey :

Your presentation is always magnificent, Jonny. Love your posts so much. Thank you. X

Wesley :

Izzy Kanizy :

sinethemba chiya :

I don't particularly love my job but the pay is decent and it's flexible. So I guess It's good enough for me to stay?😏

ibrahim43059 :

air😶‍🌫️ :

That's so true ... 😑

Modern Stoic :

Because of the frog in the slowly boiling pot. We don't notice it's bad until it's too late.

user2633740932859 :

Unfortunately it is similar with health issues. Before you know it, you have too much weight or a chronic condition. As you adapt good health fades and how you feel now becomes the new normal.

user4691913070814 :

Because they are worse

Loki :

this is similar to the frog and the boiling water

miethkaprocat :

❤️❤️❤️

space & chill🌎🌔🪐☄️ :

@Jonny Thomson pls explain why intelligent people seem to struggle with/to find love, 😑😑😑 I was wondering if there's any relevant psychological explanation for that...?