@matthiasjbarker: There's a difference between a request and a demand, and your parent can feel which one it is before you finish the sentence. A request is an invitation ("hey, would you take your shoes off before you come in?"); the boundary only comes if that gets ignored. But if you feel entitled to their behavior changing, then it becomes a demand, which shuts people down. Your anger does need to be witnessed first, just maybe not by the parent who can't hold it. Have your anger seen by a therapist or a friend, then bring the regulated version to your parent, because approaching them from your hurt usually just generates more hurt. If you're stuck wanting to say the hard thing, that's what my free workshop Navigating the Divide covers. Link in bio!

Matthias J Barker

Open In TikTok:

Region: US

Thursday 09 July 2026 15:52:18 GMT