The Pottymouth Guru
Region: CA
Thursday 09 July 2026 23:49:19 GMT
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Chris Wendels :
Is the point just saying you understood and stating their feelings are valid, regardless of if you do understand why/how or if you can follow their thought process? It feels disingenuous, but I'm struggling with this, so I'll try anything at this point.
2026-07-10 08:57:01
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No❤️ :
I'm struggling so often to even give validation, to say "I see why you feel that way" or "I can understand how you got there" because a lot of times I CANT !! he'll feel one way one day, then completely different, move the goalposts of what my behavior should and shouldn't be, etc that I can't even say "I get it"
2026-07-10 00:45:04
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The Pottymouth Guru :
One thing I wish more couples understood is that validating someone's experience doesn't automatically mean agreeing with their interpretation. Those are two very different skills, and confusing them creates a LOT of defensiveness. ❤️🤟🏻🌿
2026-07-09 23:51:38
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BuddahSauce :
I am learning to not be defensive and I agree with what you said. I have heard even me going that I understand and even say I'm sorry. But try to give an explanation or share my intent it's shown as excuses. Is that's something different?
2026-08-01 09:15:08
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Did you see the email :
Except that sometimes nobody understands how you got there or understands why you feel what you are feeling.
2026-07-10 11:45:33
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enchiladaverse :
I tried this, but my ex would say “No, but you DID do that. You don’t want to take accountability.” I think I could have tried to validate better, but it’s hard when it felt like I had to abandon my experience to make her feel heard and loved.
2026-08-04 03:48:28
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lyddybb :
In your explanation Validation sounds like "sorry you feel that way"
2026-07-10 05:52:41
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Polished Perspective 🇨🇦 :
Yes! Exactly. Now, what do we do when the other person interprets your validation as agreement and brings that up later? ie "well you even agreed... Make up your mind, am I right or not"
2026-07-10 13:15:53
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perry_wina :
And just because you’re validating your partner, doesn’t mean you’re invalidating yourself!
2026-07-10 17:21:08
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Sassy_pants1558 :
Now if the other person had the capacity to understand that concept we might get somewhere 🤔
2026-07-10 09:12:59
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Carlos | Intuitive Healer :
my ex never accepted validation unless i dressed myself in guilt and fully agreed, chose to move the way she felt i should, and doing it all in the immediate sitting; or i was not considering her. it was manipulation completely.
2026-07-20 23:07:32
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livinghealthyleanne :
These are great tips sharing yes
2026-07-10 19:32:00
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Amy T :
Thank you thank you thank you!!! 🩷🩷
2026-07-10 01:04:58
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Tanya Shlovogt :
Unfortunately my oh has now learnt that saying “ok i understand” is the “right” thing to say to conclude the conversation. He unfortunately skips the actual understanding part and doesn’t seem to realise I can tell the difference a mile away!
2026-07-16 17:08:04
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BigOlive90 :
Literally what I tried to explain to my ex for years
2026-07-10 02:52:47
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Cheryl :
Aside from being so eloquent, U R a genius at DELIVERY. Doesn’t hurt that U R a GORGEOUS fairy princess either 🥰
2026-07-10 03:17:26
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jpaulamaki :
Very different experience both when you're doing the validation and being validated. I have effectively three relationships with three very different people and understanding how to validate feelings has been very much a key to making things work.
2026-07-10 18:35:16
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Little Dance :
Hallelujah!!! 😅
2026-07-10 12:30:25
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The Pottymouth Guru :
@AJ Smith This is in response to your comment but I wasn’t able to do a video response. This may or may not resonate. 🙂
2026-07-09 23:54:25
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Lacy :
I feel like This is hard for people who struggle with the difference between subjective/objective reality
2026-08-05 14:22:43
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Hilton Samuel :
quite clear about the difference between validation and agreement. the person's experience and feeling are real and usually quite logical from the person's point of view
2026-08-12 16:33:59
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Joe :
I agree in principle, but from experience sometimes it becomes ‘you aren’t accountability’ or more often it sounds to other party like I’m saying a ‘sorry if you…’ style statement
2026-08-10 13:46:38
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Chia 🍓 Amy :
What happens if they literally can't understand how i got to the feeling/experience i got to, because they never learned empathy so unless it's something they would do in exactly that scenario, then they don't validate or agree, and just have to resort to not speaking cos speaking would "get them in trouble"
2026-08-25 04:37:05
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ShellBells0308 :
I’m so bad at this
2026-08-12 19:20:22
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Vickielynn16 :
Acknowledging and empathizing is generally what’s needed. At least for me.
2026-07-10 03:45:30
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