@kissing_whiskey: Replying to @galarchamp I do feel like I am living in the Twilight zone with this one a lil bit (also no hate to you I hope you know I love your comments and engagement! trying not to come in hot I've just had a glass of wine!) #dating #voicememo #discourse #feminism

Adam :

she said she didn't know and then invited him to her house for the second date it was very right to ask for clarification

That One Dude 🚦 :

exactly, her "I don't know" is not a no, it's a vague noncommittal answer. it's her saying "not right now, I need more time to think about this before I decide one way or another" and his voice note was him circling back and asking what she's decided

Zandeltheblue :

Here's my read: She said idk after he said he wants sex. He's like cool cool cool and leaves it, probably taking the L in his head. Then she invites him to her house and dude is wtf? Are you saying what I think you're saying? fr? Because I'm down if you are, but if not I'm gonna peace out. And then everyone lost their damn mind.

𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕖 :

Purity culture really has taken its toll, because the Queer, Polyamorous and Kinky Community do nearly unanimously agree that voice memo guy did the exact right thing. (And a lot of Autistic and ADHD folks too).

panda love 💕 :

when I hear I don't know I will also ask again

Red.g :

literally just checking in. something was discussed now you're inviting me over just seeking clarity. makes perfect sense

Mike Lausier :

He got an "I don't know" AND THEN SHE INVITED HIM TO HER HOUSE. I am fairly sure asking a second time is not only warranted, but ABSOLUTELY nessisary to avoid potentially getting a yes because she is scared to say no. Like if he asked after showing up at the house he was invited to.

Jeremy :

I feel like a voice memo is the best way to express your wants. It's not in person so there's no pressure. You're free to take your time and decide if that's what you want or not. You can respond (or not) how you want. It's open and direct communication which is what I thought people wanted.

Cladash :

He got an unclear answer, and then she invited him over to her home for their next date.

Mike :

Man, you were fighting for your life in this Vid. But everything was so well said ! ❤️

Prole Volt :

I can’t count how many times that I have said no on a first date and changed my mind to yes on the second date. Because I’m an adult with agency. Why do people not want this woman to be able to decide for herself when to change her mind and either direction. Whether it’s a soft no or a hard no, I have the right to change my mind and say yes, later. Why are people’s understanding of women’s agency so one dimensional?

hhhhhhtg :

sorry just went are a clear you don't believe 'fuck me by the second date or you are worthless to me' isn't something to discuss before any dates?

The Juicy Star :

It’s genuinely terrifying how people are listening to this voicemail and are now making things up that never happened.

why that guy :

why couldn't he just silently accept her rejection of him?

chris_holton1996 :

I hear him cutting the relationship short before anyone got invested, he’s not asking her to change her mind, he’s not saying if I come over I expect you to put out as if he has the intention to go, he’s dumping her plain and simple

tt_transcribe :

DanJames :

he sounded nervous as hell. but he obviously was being very open and transparent and it probably took a lot for him to do that but, it was better to send that voicemail then get there and being confused

MrsLexyLou ✝️ 🇺🇸 :

And maybe she wanted to leave it at the “I don’t know.” But he didn’t. And that’s his prerogative. That’s also her choice. That would have been so refreshing to hear when I was dating.

jameswhite1867 :

my big problem is she invited him to her place which as a man would send mixed signals especially after sex was already brought up and I got a n idk and I repeat she invited him over to her place

Steffeon | twitch streamer :

“i’m not sure about that” means NO. “ugh i guess” means NO. “sure if i have yo” means NO. If it isn’t an ENTHUSIASTIC YES, it’s a NO. Women face violence every single day and sometime ambiguity feels safer but if it’s not an ENTHUSIASTIC YES, it is ALWAYS a no.

Alyssa Cude :

What's unclear about?I'm not comfortable with that

The Bear :

I’m not a believer in “If the genders were reversed…” for every situation, but I think it definitely applies here. If a woman left that message to a man, NOBODY would be reacting like some people are. The entitled people in this situation are the people upset that some men have the AUDACITY to respectfully prioritize sexual intimacy. And to DISENGAGE if he doesn’t think it’s going the way he wants. It’s a man’s “responsibility” to pursue until the woman chooses to say yes or no, in whatever timeframe she chooses. It’s a direct result of the toxic gender role framework.

N K :

what I heard sounded like an expression of intent... from a safe distance... in advance... with little to no consequence... his absence (after one date) isn't any form of threat...

Just in time :

People are mostly seeing what they want to see in this situation.And ignoring the facts and what the guy actually said

Matt Alford1823 :

who cares if its cringe. People dont have to talk to you in a way that makes you feel comfortable or nit offended. he stated exactly what he wanted, and left the decision up to her. if no then hes moving on.