@cultivatingboldspaces: I'm also not joining the other team of 'this is borderline grooming' btw - but he is creating a very limiting framework in which to build intimacy with someone, and I find it very off-putting. #consent #voicememo #dating #intimacy #firstdate

Ell | Cultivating Bold Spaces
Ell | Cultivating Bold Spaces
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Friday 10 July 2026 17:19:45 GMT
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alexrod23g
AlexRod :
I think this is a big nothing burger, A person wants x thing and B person doesn't, they stop wasting each other's time and that was it, different expectations and different focuses
2026-07-10 18:06:15
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zoelivelove
Venusian Curves :
I wouldn’t say it’s “consent practice”, but I would absolutely say it’s within his right to express his priorities, ask for clarification, and walk away if he so chooses.
2026-07-10 20:14:21
131
hilliardious
Hilliardious :
THANK YOU!! I saw another video being like you want consent and transparency here it is. And I was like well kindaaaa this feels like an ultimatum. When I respectfully disagreed I got blocked.
2026-07-11 03:22:30
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bewitchedval
Valerie in NELA :
He also states that they've already discussed it prior to leaving that voice note
2026-07-10 22:27:14
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jac.rose8
Jacqueline :
THANK YOU!!! They are all paraphrasing it in a VERY differently then what he actually said and also leaving out things that she said, and the tone he said it in!
2026-07-10 22:11:21
67
scyto_x
Deangiloxi :
THANK YOU it’s so disingenuous people are leaving parts out or adding little caveats in to make it sound entirely different than what the voice note actually is
2026-07-10 18:34:59
212
basilling
Basil'ing :
Conceptually it’s good consent practice. Clearly communicating what you want in a relationship, asking for clarification. All in a voice note so there’s so physical or time pressure that an in person conversation might have. His execution however was quite blunt and definitely could’ve been better. And if you’re put off by it. CONGRATS, you just realised the whole point of the memo, to discuss compatibility
2026-07-11 00:41:48
8
xylansya
Xylansya :
frankly I don't see the problem. they went on one date 👀 they have no obligation to learn more about each other. also why would she want to waste her time doing a second date if their want don't align ?
2026-07-10 18:46:37
69
jchunhnmsbe
Jimmy :
It’s not consent practice it’s more a what are we looking for statement. Gives an option between yes we continue or no we don’t. What is wrong is posting a private message on the internet without consent
2026-07-10 22:20:18
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jools_meep
Jules :
this is a great litmus test though because I blocked a lot of people today 😭
2026-07-11 03:21:10
0
scottlittlefield15
Scott Littlefield :
Agreed it’s off putting to most people, but that’s his choice. I do think the “voice memo” part of this makes this inherently one sided. When people send voice memos you generally monologue about your position then let them do the same. He could have done a lot of things better but it’s in the correct direction as appropriate consent. He’s made a hard line position, but she could have responded with something like “well I’m open to it but let’s see how it goes” and that’s probably something amicable to both parties.
2026-07-10 23:34:33
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albs_2
albs :
THANK YOU I’ve felt like I was being gaslit by half of Tik tok
2026-07-10 17:31:53
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felixthecattt0
felixthecattt0 :
they aren't different you're focusing on awkward phrasing more than the actual meaning of what he's saying
2026-07-11 00:48:58
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ehowell121
EHowell121 :
I think if you make a longer video, you should include the voice note you are using as your basis. And how each part comes across, that way no one can really make reframing points. Even if you just quote it in text.
2026-07-11 00:05:04
2
johnbear2004
johnbearoverthere :
yep thats consent. u are mixing it up because its also rude. but theyve been on one date and neither person owes the other anything
2026-07-11 00:40:49
2
smallsprite0
Sammm :
Exactly
2026-07-11 02:03:51
1
claradonna420
Claradonna :
My "re-frame" is exactly what it was: transparency. I think we should always be transparent, if you're not compatible find out immediately.
2026-07-11 00:21:11
3
aedanarcane
Aedan Arcane :
keep in mind, we're hearing different voice memos. there are shorter, edited versions of the memo and then longer ones. I'll be honest, I don't even know what memo is real anymore cuz I can't get a straight answer with a link to the OG post.
2026-07-10 22:07:47
2
ftheniceguy
Buckle Up Babes :
THANK YOU
2026-07-10 18:13:33
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rws22493
rws22493 :
Yea I’m not sure what people are missing here !!! lol
2026-07-10 22:48:30
4
stooooks
stooks? :
clarity is kindness but also kindness is kindness 😅
2026-07-11 02:46:38
1
lesbian_anton_anderson
Anton :
okay completely off topic but your shirt(robe?) is gorgeous, is it Kaffe Fasset fabrics? or maybe Brandon Mably from his collection..
2026-07-10 21:03:07
3
scholasticslut
scholasticslut :
I think consent practice is something everyone could benefit from
2026-07-10 22:28:17
1
p_musings
p_musings :
Can’t wait to hear your take.
2026-07-10 20:15:30
1
gabriellaincanada
Gabriella :
Discussing consent in school was new when I learned about it officially, and right away the “is very specific thing ok?” questions seemed off. The point is to make her feel safe by reading the room and responding accordingly. You can’t circumnavigate that process with uncomfortable direct questions
2026-07-11 01:39:11
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