Ell | Cultivating Bold Spaces
Region: GB
Friday 10 July 2026 17:19:45 GMT
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AlexRod :
I think this is a big nothing burger, A person wants x thing and B person doesn't, they stop wasting each other's time and that was it, different expectations and different focuses
2026-07-10 18:06:15
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Venusian Curves :
I wouldn’t say it’s “consent practice”, but I would absolutely say it’s within his right to express his priorities, ask for clarification, and walk away if he so chooses.
2026-07-10 20:14:21
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Hilliardious :
THANK YOU!! I saw another video being like you want consent and transparency here it is. And I was like well kindaaaa this feels like an ultimatum. When I respectfully disagreed I got blocked.
2026-07-11 03:22:30
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Valerie in NELA :
He also states that they've already discussed it prior to leaving that voice note
2026-07-10 22:27:14
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Jacqueline :
THANK YOU!!! They are all paraphrasing it in a VERY differently then what he actually said and also leaving out things that she said, and the tone he said it in!
2026-07-10 22:11:21
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Deangiloxi :
THANK YOU it’s so disingenuous people are leaving parts out or adding little caveats in to make it sound entirely different than what the voice note actually is
2026-07-10 18:34:59
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Basil'ing :
Conceptually it’s good consent practice. Clearly communicating what you want in a relationship, asking for clarification. All in a voice note so there’s so physical or time pressure that an in person conversation might have. His execution however was quite blunt and definitely could’ve been better. And if you’re put off by it. CONGRATS, you just realised the whole point of the memo, to discuss compatibility
2026-07-11 00:41:48
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Xylansya :
frankly I don't see the problem. they went on one date 👀 they have no obligation to learn more about each other. also why would she want to waste her time doing a second date if their want don't align ?
2026-07-10 18:46:37
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Jimmy :
It’s not consent practice it’s more a what are we looking for statement. Gives an option between yes we continue or no we don’t. What is wrong is posting a private message on the internet without consent
2026-07-10 22:20:18
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Jules :
this is a great litmus test though because I blocked a lot of people today 😭
2026-07-11 03:21:10
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Scott Littlefield :
Agreed it’s off putting to most people, but that’s his choice. I do think the “voice memo” part of this makes this inherently one sided. When people send voice memos you generally monologue about your position then let them do the same. He could have done a lot of things better but it’s in the correct direction as appropriate consent. He’s made a hard line position, but she could have responded with something like “well I’m open to it but let’s see how it goes” and that’s probably something amicable to both parties.
2026-07-10 23:34:33
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albs :
THANK YOU I’ve felt like I was being gaslit by half of Tik tok
2026-07-10 17:31:53
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felixthecattt0 :
they aren't different you're focusing on awkward phrasing more than the actual meaning of what he's saying
2026-07-11 00:48:58
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EHowell121 :
I think if you make a longer video, you should include the voice note you are using as your basis. And how each part comes across, that way no one can really make reframing points. Even if you just quote it in text.
2026-07-11 00:05:04
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johnbearoverthere :
yep thats consent. u are mixing it up because its also rude. but theyve been on one date and neither person owes the other anything
2026-07-11 00:40:49
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Sammm :
Exactly
2026-07-11 02:03:51
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Claradonna :
My "re-frame" is exactly what it was: transparency. I think we should always be transparent, if you're not compatible find out immediately.
2026-07-11 00:21:11
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Aedan Arcane :
keep in mind, we're hearing different voice memos. there are shorter, edited versions of the memo and then longer ones. I'll be honest, I don't even know what memo is real anymore cuz I can't get a straight answer with a link to the OG post.
2026-07-10 22:07:47
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Buckle Up Babes :
THANK YOU
2026-07-10 18:13:33
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rws22493 :
Yea I’m not sure what people are missing here !!! lol
2026-07-10 22:48:30
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stooks? :
clarity is kindness but also kindness is kindness 😅
2026-07-11 02:46:38
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Anton :
okay completely off topic but your shirt(robe?) is gorgeous, is it Kaffe Fasset fabrics? or maybe Brandon Mably from his collection..
2026-07-10 21:03:07
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scholasticslut :
I think consent practice is something everyone could benefit from
2026-07-10 22:28:17
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p_musings :
Can’t wait to hear your take.
2026-07-10 20:15:30
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Gabriella :
Discussing consent in school was new when I learned about it officially, and right away the “is very specific thing ok?” questions seemed off. The point is to make her feel safe by reading the room and responding accordingly. You can’t circumnavigate that process with uncomfortable direct questions
2026-07-11 01:39:11
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