Dr. Ruth | That Was Abuse
Region: US
Friday 10 July 2026 20:00:00 GMT
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Katie :
Hi! As a family law legal assistant, the court takes patterns of behavior really seriously. 10 years of the same behavior is a defined pattern.
2026-07-10 21:04:49
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ohsaycanyousweden :
I interpreted it as “it seems unlikely her memory would go back this far. I question the legitimacy of these claims”
2026-07-10 21:27:18
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Jean :
It’s judgement… but not of you.
2026-07-10 21:23:51
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speaksinitalics :
It’s a note for anyone who reviews your case in the future. Super calling out the longevity of it
2026-07-10 20:51:42
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Crimson Ryan :
Most judges skim those papers sadly. He was making it clear to the next judge that there is an established pattern. This makes it easier for you to get judgements/verdicts in the future if you need to go back to court for whatever reason. It also makes future court faster usually.
2026-07-11 01:42:08
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mostlyharmlesslondoner🇬🇧🇪🇺 :
I'd read that as, "this is very bad. It's been going on for 10 years"
2026-07-10 21:01:03
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alexa :
I understand why you feel judged by it, but I truly think the judge was saying “this is urgent, this is important.” It’s also a note that other professionals will heed. If another judge or police review the PPO, they will see that note and take it that much more seriously. Thats what I think.
2026-07-10 20:16:36
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liv :
it’s 100% a way to note the longevity of your case in a way of concern. it flags people to make sure they discuss the cycle of domestic violence with the filer. it also puts an extra level of a buffer before allowing a dismissal if the filer asks for one.
2026-07-10 22:49:37
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Erika :
I think that’s compassion, I’m sure there have been PPOs he has not granted and might regret it now after reading yours. Thank you for sharing your stories with us 💕
2026-07-10 20:09:57
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Kyleigh Kennedy278 :
I’ve worked for judges and it was almost certainly just them documenting it since it’s a defined pattern. It was basically them adding an extra level of protection for you without everyone needing to see all of your other court documents. Definitely not judgmental more helpful!
2026-07-10 22:52:20
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DVF🌙✨ :
I think if it said “AND” instead of “BUT” it would sound less judgmental. But you got it, and that’s what matters
2026-07-10 20:58:38
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Belle The Newfie :
I’ve been a social worker since 1996, and started my career in DV. I’ve seen so many PPOs get re evaluated and sometimes the judge’s comments at the end can really make or break.
2026-07-10 20:24:21
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Lyssia :
If the judge has used ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ it would sound totally different
2026-07-16 19:08:00
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missschmidt12 :
I read it as concern and compassion that you had gone through it for 10 years
2026-07-10 22:13:17
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Ashe :
I have plans to get out on Wednesday of next week I’m trying to get a restraining order right now
2026-07-12 04:11:20
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Rvxn :
as someone who grew up around the courts this is absolutely the way a judge marks their dissatisfaction that the system has failed someone.
2026-07-11 04:55:03
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kylie👀 :
My initial thought when you read it was that they were making a point - that this has been happening since 2013 and you’ve put up with and endured it this long, and that is incredibly strong of you but devastating that it is true. But I’m unsure if that’s me being naive to think a judge could be understanding of DV not judging someone for it
2026-07-10 20:19:41
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Adele00221 :
I think the use of “but” gives it a negative connotation however I interpret it as negative not towards you but maybe towards the system. so many individuals speak up and are shut down I wonder if the judge was coming from that perspective. Ultimately we won’t ever know unless they clarify themselves
2026-07-10 20:54:23
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Sarah E :
I hope all these comments from people with experience in the system explaining it's a way to note how long his behavior has been repeatedly occurring to add another layer of protection for you, brings you some comfort. I was concerned about that note at first too but I'm really glad ppl in the system explained this and why it's an important note
2026-07-11 20:04:45
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Luke Ramm505 :
I do think judgement but not towards you but towards the world at large about how no one noticed anything
2026-07-10 20:29:33
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MamaBoho :
I agree with your friend that it was compassion. It can feel like judgment from other people as they wonder how you were able to make it as long as you did? My stories go back 27 years. When I’m telling them now, my daughter often asks me, “Was it ever good with the two of you? Why, just why?!”
2026-07-10 20:45:38
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Erica Walsh 🇮🇪 :
In a dream world that judge is watching this whole thing and will reach out to you too clarify. (or apologise)
2026-07-10 20:09:08
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Rey :
I hear it as judgment but that's because I know that's what survivors face all the time. When I was young, I judged and didn't understand. Then, I was where I had judged others 😞
2026-07-10 20:08:56
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Jimmy :
I took it as fact that its been going on so long that it needed to be issued now.
2026-07-10 20:42:07
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Claudia :
I read it a judgemental too. It sounds to me like he didn't expect you to have written records from that far back or like he is questioning the validity of the records from that far back
2026-07-10 20:51:01
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