:
i still yearn for you. not because i force it— but because my feelings for you were actually true. i feel like I'll yearn for you more longer than what we were. ikaw kasi e, u made me feel like you loved me— when in reality, i was js fooling myself. how stupid enough am i to think that you would move on from someone you loved so much that quickly. but then again, I liked you— i loved you and i still do. you made me feel comfortable with your presence, you made me feel safe, you made me feel loved. I'll give that to you— you acted so good, it fooled someone like me. I stayed because I loved you, I didn't wanna give up on us, I wanted to stay, for you— for us. us never even actually started, yet i already lost you. I still blame myself to this day, I'm sorry, baby. I love you so much. hindi ko alam kung martyr lang ba ako, or kung anong pinaglalaban ko kahit na I heard you say all that. It hurts to hear you say you don't love me anymore— you never actually loved me.
because all those times, you had someone you still love in mind. gusto na kitang sukuan, gusto ko nang magalit sayo, gusto na kitang makalimutan, but ako to e, once I love, I love hard. you were traumatized by your ex, and you gave that trauma to me— adding up to the pain i dealt with before you, and you knew that. you knew that damn well. hindi ka man nag cheat, like what she did to you, but you gave me the fear of loving someone again— fearing that if I become comfortable with someone again, they'll do the same thing you did to me. sobrang sakit para sakin to hear your words, na infatuated ka lang, na hindi mo ako minahal, na hindi ka pa nakaka-move on kay renzelle. sobrang sakit. I may laugh it off, I may tease you with it, pero sobrang sakit, ken. sobrang sakit to hear you say those on top of what your friends are saying— that they still support you coming back to her. pero what can I do?? bago lang naman ako— kaya mo lang naman ako "minahal" kasi ako yung nandiyan.
but still, ang tanga ko man, nagpapaka-martyr man ako, I'm still hoping. I'm still waiting. no substance can replace to safe feeling, the safe comfort of you loving me.
2026-08-20 14:10:15