Jess- Your Boundary Big Sister
Region: US
Monday 13 July 2026 12:56:27 GMT
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IWasAMom :
My mother would host an “open house” from 2-8 every year. Show up or don’t. Bring a dish or don’t. Whatever. It was always a good party and I think better attended because she wasn’t chasing people down.
2026-07-13 14:50:45
141
BLB :
All the kids need to have the same script: “oh Mom, so sorry you won’t be able to make it 😔; we’d really love to have you there and will miss you, it won’t be the same; but I understand snd RESPECT YOUR DECISION, you need to do WHATS BEST FOR YOU. If something changes, let us know. Love you.”
2026-07-13 13:32:34
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NosyParker2023 :
I do not chase anyone because I don’t have time for drama. If someone doesn’t want to come, that’s fine: no harm, no foul and makes no difference either way.
2026-07-13 13:14:28
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cmarie90232 :
I’d say, I’m not sure, honey. You can ask her the next time you see her.
2026-07-13 17:40:48
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Running_homesteader :
I'd say "sorry you can't make it. there will always be space for you, should your plans change" then go on about my day 🤷♀️
2026-07-13 14:08:54
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That Girl Making Vids :
I was telling my friend today - can you imagine there are people that go to their family holidays and it’s actually pleasant? No huge arguments. No games.
2026-07-13 19:00:20
12
Judy Sanderson-Dedes :
Yes, I finally decided no contact was the best solution for me.
2026-07-13 14:25:32
5
Lija Inese :
I doubt my daughter will ask much even as she gets older. Can’t miss someone you’ve never known
2026-07-13 17:04:07
4
Mags :
We aren’t available Thanksgiving because our kids made a point that they wanted to do Thanksgiving on their own. We decided a couple years ago that we would host Christmas Eve. Come. Don’t come. Won’t affect us. We will be opening our home. If you attend, bring a side dish other than salad. I keep gifts available for added guests, and we open presents that evening. Anyone who doesn’t make it, we will get those gifts to you within the week.
2026-07-13 13:15:46
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Sophie :
This past year, my husband and I definitely started prioritizing the family we’ve made, and only attending family functions when it makes sense for us. Though we have gotten some pushback, it has made a world of different.
2026-07-13 14:49:57
7
VittoriaC4 :
Been there done that
2026-07-13 15:05:57
1
SarahB9871 :
Oh... I see you've met my mother 🤣. I also just step out of the drama. I'm never going to win, so you can bad mouth me behind my back, I'm done caring. My 6 year old has asked multiple times why her friend's grandparents come to things and hers don't. I tell her honestly that I also don't understand it, that we can't force people to show up, but that we are allowed to feel sad about it. And I remind her of the people who do show up for her- Dad and I are both at everything, my 2 longtime best friends come to her things, and one of my best friend's Mom also is there for her.
2026-07-13 13:27:26
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Elizabeth Nelson87 :
You can't control what people do, but you can always control your own response!
2026-07-13 15:14:29
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user5053261369301 :
We stopped attending all family holidays years ago. It’s not worth it and the travel and expenses was out of control. We’ve been so much happier doing our own thing
2026-07-13 14:23:25
8
T-bird 🇨🇦 ✌️ :
Id also suggest teaching older kids to start having their own relationship with extended family members. They'll get comfortable enough to reach out to grandma and ask why she's not coming.If you keep redirecting the relationship like this, you'll be thankful so you're not responsible for arranging or explaining for adult children in these gatherings.
2026-07-13 17:27:53
1
Kat Veach :
I have came to the conclusion that I am not begging for a relationship from anyone any longer. it doesn't matter if its my family or my husband's. If you don't want a relationship with myself or my children than I'm no longer going for one.
2026-07-13 18:40:28
0
PSiTH :
You say ‘ok’ and hang up on grandma. You tell your kid ‘I don’t know’. And yes you stick to the plans and make popcorn
2026-07-13 20:43:24
4
Sassy and Sweet :
I'd just tell him the truth
2026-07-13 14:05:11
6
evencowgirls :
Yes. I just tell my kids “I don’t know. Maybe next time you see her you can ask her”
2026-07-13 20:06:00
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andrewwilson2253 :
my kids figured it out. they have much stronger opinions than I
2026-07-13 19:40:39
1
paisleyemu :
You tell him the story just like you told tiktok.
2026-07-13 16:32:22
0
Lori :
Yeah. I just said, I am not cutting anyone off but I unsubscribe from this drama. And people can show up or not. It’s ridiculous how much energy we spend begging one person to act right.
2026-07-13 17:24:45
3
Just Jane :
1. Stop playing the game 2. If catch yourself starting to engage, refer back to rule #1
2026-07-13 19:29:38
3
Michele Vitko Smith :
I was just honest with my kids that sometimes family is disappointing and the people who show up for you the ones that are important. The people who don’t are not worth your time.
2026-07-13 17:35:07
1
nikkibond987 :
tired of making excuses or explaining to people so I just started saying you will be missed and moving on.
2026-07-14 14:18:50
2
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