@withlaurenrussell: One of the ways I think about fawning is that it’s a really mergey nervous system pattern. When conflict can arise it’s often that instead of feeling rooted in your own experience, someone else’s emotional reaction immediately becomes yours to deal with. So imagine the classic example: you tell your mom, “Hey, what you said really hurt my feelings.” She responds, “Well, I guess I’m just the worst mom ever.” All of a sudden, the conversation isn’t about your hurt anymore. It’s about making her feel better. If you have a strong fawn response, you’ll often follow that detour without even realizing it. You’ll spend the next 20 minutes convincing her she isn’t a terrible person, apologizing for bringing it up, or softening your own experience so she feels less uncomfortable. Because your nervous system learned that someone else’s distress was your responsibility. As I’ve healed, one of the biggest shifts has been recognizing that I don’t have to follow people into those detours. I can understand that someone is feeling shame, defensiveness, or guilt without making it my job to regulate it. I don’t have to abandon the original conversation just because someone else got uncomfortable. The goal isn’t to get better at spotting the pattern. The goal is to become so rooted in your own experience that someone else’s emotional reaction no longer pulls you out of it. #fawnresponse #fawning #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasingrecovery

lauren russell ☻

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Monday 13 July 2026 15:51:55 GMT