@elly.psychologist: Every healthy relationship has conflict, that's completely normal, so the presence of tension alone was never the thing to worry about. What actually separates ordinary disagreement from something emotionally abusive comes down to what happens underneath it and after it. The first is whether there's a genuine attempt to understand each other, versus a repeated pattern of dismissing how one person feels. Occasional friction is human, being consistently and repeatedly invalidated is what starts to tip into emotionally abusive territory, and it slowly erodes trust in your own perception. The second is accountability. In healthy conflict, both people can eventually recognise their part, even if it's not perfect every time. In something emotionally abusive, one person almost never can, and the blame consistently lands on the other, every single time. The third, and often the easiest to notice in hindsight, is what the conversation leaves you with. Healthy conflict, even when it's uncomfortable, usually reaches somewhere, a shift, a compromise, some feeling of being heard. Something emotionally abusive tends to spiral instead, leaving you unable to even remember what the conversation was originally about, and walking away more confused and hesitant to bring anything up again. That hesitation is itself a signal, because these patterns are long-standing and only shift when the person responsible is genuinely willing to do the work of owning them Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #emotionallyabusiverelationship #relationshipabuse #emotionalabuse #relationshiptok #toxicrelationship
Elly | Counseling Psychologist
Region: GB
Wednesday 15 July 2026 17:55:00 GMT
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Neil M :
11 weeks out of a toxic relationship and I've found your videos really helpful, thank you Elly 🙏🙏😘
2026-07-16 19:53:36
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i r e n a :
however many of your videos i consume, i still find myself wondering if i was the abusive one because my reactions to him icing me out were at times insane and volatile
2026-07-15 18:35:45
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Missy Luna :
You learn to say nothing, it’s not worth drama
2026-07-16 03:26:21
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freegypsy7 :
My BF never took accountability
2026-07-15 21:36:01
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MichelleS :
I was in a emotionally abusive relationship with my narcissist now ex wife. 7 months free and yes I'm far happier and know she wasn't right for me but she totally messed me up. I'm currently healing 🥰
2026-07-16 12:32:08
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charlotte S :
So true 🙄😳
2026-07-15 18:24:48
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Tiksu :
So true
2026-07-15 18:39:27
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OldNerdyBastard :
Here's another sign: the double bind. Person A expresses hurt. Person B says too little and they're accused of stonewalling. They say too much and they're accused of hijacking the conversation. They try to correct inaccuracies (Person A says, "you were 6 hours late!" and Person B says, "well, I was only 10 minutes late") and they're accused of gaslighting. Person B says, "we've been in this argument for 9 hours now, I can't do this anymore" and they're accused of avoidance. The double bind - there's absolutely nothing that Person B can say or do that is going to be sufficient.
2026-07-16 03:21:33
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Damodar Pokhrel :
💯💯💯
2026-07-16 03:31:44
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