@elly.psychologist: The most common mistake people make when trying to work out if a relationship is right for them is treating it like an investigation into the other person, analysing their behaviour, chasing explanations, trying to work out exactly why they do what they do. Understanding your partner matters in any relationship, but this approach tends to fall apart with people who have toxic or emotionally abusive tendencies, because they're often remarkably good at appearing kind, intelligent, even emotionally mature, and always have a convincing explanation ready for whatever they've done. A charming excuse and genuinely healthy behaviour can look almost identical from the outside, which is exactly why focusing there in a relationship so often leads people astray. The far more reliable measure is what's actually happening inside you. Not their intentions, not how good their explanations sound, but your own felt experience in this relationship. Do you trust yourself more or less around them. Do you feel calm or on edge. Do you feel free to be yourself, or do you find yourself editing what you say in case it lands the wrong way. Are you growing as a person in this relationship, or quietly giving up parts of yourself to meet expectations, even when that sacrifice gets dressed up as self-improvement. None of that self-doubt is something to override, it's information. What a relationship does to your relationship with yourself will always tell you more than any explanation ever could, because behaviour can be justified endlessly, but how you actually feel around someone is nearly impossible to talk yourself out of Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #relationshiptok #relationshipproblems #relationshiptips #toxicrelationship #relationshipissues

Elly | Counseling Psychologist

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Saturday 18 July 2026 07:40:00 GMT