IMMATERIA: Notes + Hot Takes
Region: US
Tuesday 14 July 2026 16:11:31 GMT
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<3 :
Even wearing certain clothes, there was comments or backhanded criticism
2026-07-15 04:18:55
1600
EJ :
I have boomer parents. Every single human they’ve ever interacted with has been made to feel responsible for their mental state/well being. Including their own children. It’s insane to me. The level of entitlement/victim mindset is beyond comprehension.
2026-07-14 22:37:55
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Momo :
It’s also worse when everything you do could affect their reputation because “what will people say if you do so and so” and how they’re perceived by the public so it becomes to deeply ingrained in you that you need to always perform because you don’t want things to go wrong and for them to react.
2026-07-14 23:13:19
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lm84365 :
My mother kept a post it note I wrote her when I was maybe like 8, it said ‘I hate you’, she brought it out in an argument 25 years later. She kept it in her desk for that long and knew where it was to use against me at the right time. Our household was emotionally volatile and I was the youngest by ten years, so I had no chance in that place.
2026-07-15 11:44:59
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playgirllrae :
This just made me realize so much. I do have to say I have experienced my entire life, just existing, not saying a word. No facial expression, just observing, & people will just decide they hate me cause I have an attitude or ask me what’s wrong & I’m like bro I’m just present and not performing. That’s makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
2026-07-15 04:53:13
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🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷 :
Yes because I cut my hair and my mom got ill for two days
2026-07-15 06:39:30
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Histolytica :
OH MY GOD you are so fucking right. that's the issue literally. I'm literally always afraid of affecting people because whatever I do my family is immediately scared and angry. I had to discover so many things about myself and other things about the world, by myself secretly. Like you are so so so right.
2026-07-15 09:07:02
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Marina Costea :
you made me realize that if I dyed my hair blue tomorrow and my mom would freak out and have an outburst it wouldn't matter, so tomorrow I'm going to the hairdresser 😭😂
2026-07-15 00:01:36
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imbir :
i ate one tiny piece of chocolate today and my father stated he is very surprised and “disappointed” in me. mind you, im 33 years old and very athletic. boomers think their children are an extension of them. and his projection of idealism and perfectionism is exhausting
2026-07-15 08:53:25
336
LimeGreenFiesta :
I feel like you unlocked something in my brain. I’m not kidding
2026-07-15 01:49:10
539
larissayan8 :
Going on a trip with parents like this is a MISTAKE! They 1) not do anything useful 2) get mad at you for helping them.
2026-07-15 12:07:32
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Mimah____ :
Yep. As a child, you’re expected by religion and society to regulate your parents, and others’ emotions. Never your own.
2026-07-15 09:21:35
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no :
when I was 12 I drank a glass of cola too fast in public (probably the amount of a normal can in 5 mins on a hot day) and my mum said for weeks that I'd embarrassed her and she was ashamed of me
2026-07-15 10:06:30
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jenna :
i saw my classmate at the store with my mom and i said "hi" and my mom screamed at me until i started crying in public because i didn't say "hi (classmate's name)
2026-07-15 12:17:03
0
Rorschach :
My mother thought I was possessed (I was depressed)
2026-07-15 12:10:07
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amandamawanda0 :
i have to show my mum my outfit before i leave the house, im 31.
2026-07-15 11:07:12
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Bobic :
It's important to realize that you're responsible for your actions, but not how people react to them
2026-07-14 19:16:58
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aa :
Tbh I only feel social anxiety in spaces my nervous system tells me I shouldn't be in but I don't listen. Once I dropped those group of people, I don't remember the last time I felt social anxiety! Your body always knows before you catch up
2026-07-15 09:14:20
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victorineamani :
When I was 10yrs old we used to go to church at the time The church would go through their morning programme, then it would get to a point where they'd call the kids to the front, pray for them then send them off to children's bible classes I waved at my mum once because she was sitting at the front and she looked pissed and gestured for me to turn around. on the way home she berated me,"have you seen anyone doing that?" "why would you embarrass me like that?" "Grow up and stop acting so stupid" safe to say, i hate being perceived especially in a group because I just feel like an embarrassment of course there were other situations but that one stuck so vividly
2026-07-15 04:49:30
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LILY’s_PLOT :
This then affect your adult relationships all toogether
2026-07-15 05:18:48
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Sinead :
OH. This must be why my mum didn’t care about the letter I wrote her about our relationship, and why I thought it might work. I didn’t actually have any influence - I only thought I did because she had blamed me for so long.
2026-07-15 00:50:19
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<3 :
I found this EXTREMELY helpful. Thank you for sharing this
2026-07-14 19:36:41
255
GKS_Rose.Atelier🐉✨🏞️ :
my mom tells me 'im embarrassed for you coz you did XYZ' when i was a kid i used to be so affected now as an adult, i would say dont take my shame. You already have a lot of shame inside you, if you take mine, your shame would double. It would be heavy to carry. Shut her up.
2026-07-15 05:25:37
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🇮🇷🦁Nazirpari 🦁🇮🇷 :
The first time it really clicked for me was when we were in the car and my mum saw this girl walking by in tight clothes with her tummy bulging out, and my mum made fun of her. 😩 Like... this was the same woman who would get mad at me for being self conscious. My dad is lovely, but he was very strict in an "OMG, be careful, you're gonna die! Watch out! Don't do that, because here's a list of 100 things that could go wrong" kind of way.😂😭
2026-07-15 00:41:51
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𝔙𝔬𝔦𝔡 :
All of this. I was coddled and parentified at the same time. My mother was extremely overprotective, but I was also made to go and fix their relationship after their explosive fights since I was little. Now that I’m in my late 20s and asking them to stop telling me about the abuse when I do visit I get a flabbergasted „but who else would I tell? I don’t have anyone. Besides, you’re an adult.” Yeah and I wasn’t before and I have to carry all that. Meanwhile constantly saying that I can’t tell anyone about what goes on bc what would people say and „you don’t shit where you eat”. Find a friend or finally go to therapy, I’m at my limit. 💀
2026-07-15 09:13:48
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