I Recruit tiny humans, gain their trust, confiscate dangerous objects, monitor their movements, dispose of mysterious bodily fluids, bribe them with snacks, force them to sleep, and return them to their families before anyone asks too many questions.
2026-07-14 19:32:04
261
poppi 🧸 :
I take dogs from their homes and bring them to forests for an hour before taking them back home before their owners get back in.
2026-07-14 18:52:50
144
nox ¹⁰⁰⁹ :
i grill the mangled flesh of a deceased cow and join it among other concoctions such as unborn chickens mixed with oil on a bun, package it up and sell the result to a willing customer
2026-07-15 14:12:02
45
lilfatlez🇬🇧🌈 :
I steal blood from strangers and give it to people in white coats
2026-07-15 22:46:26
79
Trying_at_life_Tiff :
every time I try my comment gets flagged haha I'm an anaesthetic practitioner
2026-07-15 12:29:04
37
Sofia.salzburg :
I go to a place where they lock me and other minors up and forbid us to move for half of the day and where they manipulate us to think some exact things and at the end of the year if we couldn't memorise it they keep us there a year longer
2026-07-19 18:17:10
23
Jennie Eriksson :
I sit in the dark and watch a man sleep
2026-07-18 23:13:58
13
Ev :
I sneak into people's homes to check if they're asleep
2026-07-15 13:47:10
10
Em :
I sell drugs! Any drugs! I can deal you anything! Even locked away drugs! You name it, I got it! 🤣
2026-07-15 20:15:14
18
Keleigh Burgess :
I interrogate people about their emotional wellbeing. Sometimes I make them cry!
2026-07-15 18:21:18
19
Purps :
I used to evict tiny humans
2026-07-15 20:38:14
58
Carrie :
I take people’s money to let them stay in my property for a number of nights and force them to eat breakfast then send them on their way again 😂
2026-07-15 11:08:11
100
michaela87🇬🇧 :
i blindfold people and lock them in a cell
2026-07-15 12:50:40
6
Tracy :
I deal with drugs and cranky people all day
2026-07-16 12:07:49
14
statement ends :
i take a suspension that emits dangerous fumes and use sticks that have animal hairs attached to them to put the suspension on a textile weave on the cörpse of a tree to preserve a moment or thought for eternity
2026-07-15 16:30:28
16
Summer ⎕ :
Publicly distributing coded information to a large group while rewarding the first person to complete the assignment
2026-07-16 14:57:34
5
Midnight Butterfly Designs :
I count money. Money that isnt mine.
2026-07-15 23:16:40
5
Mira.2000 :
I take kids who aren’t with there parents out buy them food and clothes and make sure they behave
2026-07-15 19:28:36
8
The Yapocalypse 😛 :
i do all sorts of things and don't get paid for it
2026-07-15 17:35:25
6
George :
I sit in a laboratory all day adding lots of toxic chemicals to beer in an attempt to analyse if it’s safe for public consumption
2026-07-15 19:49:17
13
alzbett2 :
I professionally schedule the business operations and I "smuggle" goods to ensure maximum efficiency and minimum overtime
2026-07-15 18:56:00
8
🤘🎸Allieee 🦇🎃 :
Not my full job description but part of my job is I take the blood of newborn babies 😂
2026-07-15 14:32:26
8
✨🇱🇹 lithuanian_baddie🇱🇹✨ :
I sit in a prison called school
2026-07-15 21:41:44
5
Blitz :
I get a phone call and then I break into peoples room when they are not there to give them stuff and then i run away cuz I’m scared they come back and then I steal everyone’s things to put it in water
2026-07-16 09:25:47
1
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