☽ཐི𝒦𝒶𝓉𝓉ཋྀ☾ :
Ive been so scared of any form of intimacy for years. Ill be 16 in a few months, and yes, i'm young, but I love hard. And every time i fall for someone, they turn out to be truly bad people or they want one thing from me. Physical contact is something I crave so bad, but i'm terrified of it because theres always been some sort of sexual comment or suggestion that goes with it. Well, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 months and a weekish. Im still so scared of wanting to be lovey dovey and overstepping or triggering something bigger than just cuddling. But at just 2 weeks, I was holding his hand for 2 hours straight in a school assembly. I was putting a leg over his at breakfast. I was hugging him everytime i saw him, even though hugs are one of the forms of contact I get the most uncomfortable in. I met his dad on sunday, and I spent like an hour sitting next to him on the couch mostly silent while his dad put on a movie. I slowly got closer and closer to him to test the waters, and he didnt care. I finally leaned on his shoulder, and he slouched a bit more and relaxed his arm to make sure i was comfortable. I was sitting on the side with the leg rest up, and he kept repositioning his legs to get comfy, but never once pushed to put his legs up with mine, and insisted he was fine. I scooted over for him, he followed, and I kinda poked fun at him because I knew he wanted to put his legs up, and then he said it was because I moved my legs away and wanted to stay close. I tried so hard to not smile like a dummy. he cares so much about the little things to keep me comfortable, and sometimes its just natural to go slow with me for him. Sure, we have only been dating for two months, but he genuinely feels right. He's the only one ive ever felt this safe with, and he just feels right. Im praying that he is my forever boy. I really want him to be my forever.
2026-07-15 00:57:26