Kina Wolfenstein
Region: US
Wednesday 15 July 2026 14:09:33 GMT
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April • Dietitian :
I feel ZERO empathy and compassion for mine. I can see it, but I just don’t care.
2026-09-08 13:54:26
0
A Magical Hat :
It’s even worse when you’re neurodivergent, but your parents don’t realize THEY’RE neurodivergent. So you try your best to give them a compassion and empathy they could never give you.
2026-07-15 16:30:11
266
PLANET.QUIL 🪐 :
I had compassion but then I started getting help and realized they refused to get help then I became angry lol I lost the compassion
2026-09-06 17:11:48
0
R a c h e l :
I have compassion but I also have discernment. And other people choose to work on themselves. My mother? Nope.
2026-07-15 15:24:54
305
Mirrorlight Publishing :
the hardest part isn't forgiving them. it's holding both truths at the same time — they were doing their best AND their best still damaged you. the world wants you to pick a side. but your body lives in the middle. and the middle is where the real grief lives because nobody teaches you how to love someone and mourn what they cost you in the same breath.
2026-07-19 16:07:05
23
Marlie :
It’s also complicated when you have siblings and you’re all at different stages of the journey. I’m so grateful for my therapist for pointing out that sometimes your siblings can be very protective of your/their parents when discussing these things which can hurt when you are seeking validation.
2026-07-15 14:49:23
174
The.Kintsugi.System :
I feel both : empathy/compassion but also a kind of rage that cannot go anywhere because of my empathy. I feel betrayed by them but also by myself. So I have huge somatic issues coz of that.
2026-07-16 01:29:29
14
yun :
i feel an equal amount of rage and compassion for my mother, unfortunately 😔
2026-07-25 10:11:09
12
Jess :
I end up in a vicious cycle of being angry with my parents, then thinking about how they also had trauma growing up, then feeling guilty and like a bad person for being angry with them. It's exhausting and there's no resolution.
2026-07-16 14:14:39
12
Ashmay Comics :
My mom wouldn’t stop telling me about her trauma. I’m not allowed to be mad at her because my experience wasn’t as traumatic as hers. So my trauma is worthless
2026-07-15 15:48:10
232
Nexus :
I'm the parent who tried to improve, but still messed up. My intention to do better counts for me and my progress, but it does not minimize or excuse the harm I did to my kids. They needed a mom fully prepared to meet their needs, and I couldn't hit the mark. Now I'm learning and actively trying to show up differently and to actually hear them in their experiences.
2026-07-16 16:30:56
32
Clover :
I had compassion until I became a parent and realized that they will always choose themselves first and I will always choose my child. i think compassion kept me delulu to what was really going on and kept me right where they wanted me.
2026-07-15 16:50:53
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mystereit :
I believe they did not want to hurt me... but the damage was done... big time
2026-07-15 18:54:03
49
Colleen ⭐️ :
“They did the best they could” enrages me.
2026-07-15 18:30:52
14
amandarene86 :
I did, until I had a kid.
2026-07-15 14:46:02
32
Scavengerlove :
I can hold 2 truthful ideas at the same time and I used to think it meant I was non committal or wishy washy but it’s not. I can understand and have compassion and see the good my parents did at the same time acknowledging the pain they caused me and I can be no contact forever or intermittently and not feel guilty.
2026-07-15 20:42:17
7
Slowwisdom :
Thanks for explaining the nuance some of us struggle with. Once you acknowledge your parents’ trauma, it is difficult to make room for your own hurt.
2026-07-15 18:06:31
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candicekane.v2 :
Kina, I reallyyyy need your take on this: concerning the no contact with parents- some things I’ve heard is - TikTok created (or people on TikTok with trauma ) have created this new dynamic that swings too hard & causing parents and children to have no closeness even avoiding them. That it’s really affected people psychologically…. Not that the hurt and damage is invalid but almost like a domino effect or other ppls trauma leaking onto others … understand what I’m asking?
2026-07-16 00:17:18
1
A Magical Hat :
This is very relevant for children of immigrants. “How can I fail when my parents have given so much?”
2026-07-15 16:28:06
39
mewhins :
I fully get why I was the ignored kid. My parents dealt with a lot of shit— they lost a child to cancer at six months old, my dad had a ton of health problems that were debilitating and financially destabilizing, my other siblings both had issues that demanded their attention. I get it, but I still wish I’d gotten more of their attention.
2026-07-15 19:06:08
8
Jaime Elana Pelletier :
I wouldn’t say it’s compassion but I do seek a deep understanding, sometimes too much.
2026-07-15 15:31:50
7
Elizabeth :
I am angy with them and I have pity for them. I also have lost enough of myself to keep emotional distance while caring for them.
2026-07-15 18:35:18
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Heather | Hot Yoga Anacortes :
this describes a lot of my own trouble with my parents but you explaining it and describing it in this way makes it so clear how inappropriate it is that I even know this much about my parents trauma
2026-07-15 15:02:55
12
Reuben Scratton :
Yes. My mother lost her own mother to suicide when she was only 6. It shattered her life and cast a long shadow over mine. I try to direct my anger at the grandmother I never knew
2026-07-15 14:54:29
9
areallybadstarwarsfan 🆘🇺🇸🆘 :
It took until I was well into my twenties to realize that the reason I couldn’t feel mad at my dad was because I did still care for him, and I wasn’t sure what it said about me as a person that I could care for and empathize with someone who’d shown so little care and empathy for me, especially since a bizarre amount of my energy has been spent on not being like him. (Also, I’m sure the black-and-white thinking that comes from what is likely some OCD-type affliction didn’t help.)
2026-07-15 16:43:43
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![﴿إِنَّمَا أَمْرُهُ إِذَا أَرَادَ شَيْئًا أَنْ يَقُولَ لَهُ كُنْ فَيَكُونُ﴾ [يس: 82] 🤍 يا رب، لا حول ولا قوة لي إلا بك، ولا ملجأ ولا منجى منك إلا إليك. يا رب إني ضعيفة وأنت القوي، وإني عاجزة وأنت القادر، وإني لا أملك من أمري شيئًا وأنت تملك كل شيء. اللهم تولَّ أمري كله، ودبّر لي فإني لا أحسن التدبير. اللهم إني فوضت أمري إليك، فاجبر خاطري، وفرّج همي، واقضِ حاجتي، وحقق لي ما أتمنى إن كان فيه خير لي. يا رب، إنما أمرك إذا أردت شيئًا أن تقول له كن فيكون، فأسألك بقدرتك التي لا يعجزها شيء أن تكون يا جامع الكاف و النون قل لأمري ان يكون🤍✨ #اللهم_صل_وسلم_على_نبينا_محمد #lel_ajr #الله #fyp](/video/cover/7682247238596250900.webp)
