Samarax :
Without giving many details. I was born into this class of family though mine was all about bloodlines. Sadly I was seen as impure due to my father. I was placed into a private middleschool, you learn cursive, how to set tables, arrange flowers, sew, how to speak, hold your posture, ball dance, proper dress attire, 24k gold, real precious stones. The insane log cabin mansions you would never even know were in them hollers in Kentucky. The helicopter to get to another across their property. Learn to attend balls, network, never make the family look bad, do not cry never show weakness, observe, never tell what you have, do not talk to much, dress classy, never speak of family issues, its frowned upon to discuss mental health as its weakness.
I was passed between the family as my mother was a crash out, eventually I got dumped with nothing to a friend's mother whom took me in, went from that instantly to the worste street in the town with no power. Eventually my grandmother took me. She kept herself modest and humble. Never flashed the money but you knew. They don't express affection and love normally....Its gifts. Showing affection in public is frowned upon, kissing holding hands frowned upon, always "be proper" It has ruined me in the aspect I don't express emotions like a normal individual would. I don't express love like normal people do. Being a half breed as they'd say, some gifts or gestures were held over my head alot. You learn never to take as everything always comes with a price. There is always a catch, so Ive a hard time asking for help now. I don't cry, I don't expressive emotions of pain even though a bone could be broken, it was embedded in my head not to cry not to show weakness.
Needless to say I want nothing to do with any of them now, Im happily living pay check to paycheck on the farm I bought without their help.
2026-07-19 01:45:28