@the_control_code: You loaded the dishwasher right. Now it’s the towels. You fixed the towels. Now it’s your tone. A fixed standard can be met. A met standard makes you equals. That’s why it moves. Stark calls it degradation. Bancroft called him Mr. Right. Every “you did it wrong” carries a second clause he never says out loud: “and I’m the one who knows what right looks like.” The criticism is a coronation. Field test: did the standard hold still after you met it or are the goalposts always moving? #coercivecontrol #thecontrolcode #emotionalabuse #narcabuse #relationshipredflags
it's not about them being afraid to be equal. they just like chaos.
2026-07-17 14:16:58
10
🇨🇦BigFatFeminist🇨🇦 :
he would do this...but with expectations of what my body looked like
2026-07-25 20:12:55
0
I like bagels :
My dad gave me a list of chores to do before I could go to my friends funeral, he realized he was getting good labor out of me and kept adding more tasks until the whole house was clean and I’d missed the funeral
2026-07-17 05:09:42
76
Life is but a dream_ :
Can you discuss men who claim that cheating is the only thing you could ever do to make them leave you.. I’ve heard this from two vastly different men and it even seems to have different implications between those men. I’ve thought about this a fair bit lately but not sure if it’s a discussion elsewhere
2026-07-19 20:20:42
7
cp1938 :
My ex was a hoarder. I would clean and discard then he would bring in more and redecorate. I finally realized who and what I was competing with, his mental disorder! I don't live in chaos anymore.
2026-07-18 19:28:41
14
Nurse Jill :
I would just stop what I was doing and quietly walk away. Finally walked away permanently.
2026-07-17 05:47:58
24
LittleDynamite :
its just them wanting to keep you in chaos.
2026-07-17 07:23:50
42
user4817861723090 :
This crap was the worse and was the final event that led me to get out.
2026-07-17 05:29:22
17
rachelusprich158 :
the contempt is palpable.
2026-07-19 11:38:36
9
elogioamislocuras :
What about when you point them out something and they tell you that what you see is your perception as if your perception is wrong and theirs is always right. It's kind of the same thing.
2026-07-21 23:17:32
3
Emily :
And why is it always about my “tone?”
2026-07-29 21:08:46
2
fili~ :
Thank you for not exploiting another’s tragedy for views. Respect. 💗💗
2026-08-06 17:15:11
1
StirThatPot :
On some level he hates you and wants to watch you suffer. It was a hard lesson to learn.
2026-07-21 21:02:38
11
marqi_the_malevolent :
the problem with moving the goal post is that now I'm better than him in every way, so what do I do with him now?
2026-07-17 17:54:13
9
sonyafl2 :
I hate that I lived this for me 😩💔
2026-07-18 03:23:54
4
WhiteLightTheFrequency :
perminantly above you so u r always chasing to please him on demands u never thoight u would im the first place taking away from what u need to do for your self .then ruminnatefkr days
2026-07-21 12:06:50
3
Steph❌️ :
baseboards and meal planning. 😒
2026-07-19 05:47:18
2
🇨🇦BigFatFeminist🇨🇦 :
this was a prominent tactic when I was with narcissistic men
2026-07-25 20:15:04
4
KB|Comm :
And this is why I’m always the villain 😏
2026-07-28 14:40:22
1
user9290156507958 :
YES!!!!! 💜
2026-07-17 05:13:56
3
squee_ze_ :
All he is doing is communicating his needs. And when I point it out I’m shutting him down.
2026-09-09 22:38:59
0
squee_ze_ :
Omg this is my life.
2026-09-09 22:36:49
0
Llael McDonald Artist :
Yep constantly shifted the goal post so he could pick at me.
2026-07-25 02:30:54
0
Lynnette 🇺🇲 :
THIS
2026-07-18 23:55:45
0
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