@merrykennedy647: — Honestly? Things are better lately. She stopped nagging. It's calm at home. Finally. — How long has it been calm? — Couple of months, maybe. Why are you frowning? That's good news. — Maybe. What was the last thing she asked you to change? — ...I don't remember. She used to go on about the same stuff — I'm never present, phone at dinner, weekends I'm 'somewhere else'. It stopped. — And you read the stopping as peace. — What else would it be? — A woman argues about the phone at dinner because she's still trying to get dinner back. Arguing is expensive — you only spend that on something you still want. When she stops, one of two things happened. Either the problem got fixed... Did it get fixed? — ...No. I still do all of that. — Then the second thing. She didn't run out of complaints. She ran out of the belief that saying them changes anything. The quiet you're enjoying is the sound of her no longer applying. — Applying for what? — To be heard. There were years of applications. Check the archive. — So what, I should want the fighting back? — You should want the wanting back. Fighting was just the form it took. Go home and ask her one question — 'what did you stop asking me for?' — and don't defend yourself against the answer. Not one word of defense. Just take notes. — And if she says 'nothing'? — Then ask again in a softer room. The first 'nothing' is a door handle, not a wall. ... Calm and peace look identical from the couch. Only one of them has someone still in the room with you.

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