If I became president of the world, first thing I’d do is build moats around every volcano, inactive or active, wouldn’t matter, they’d all get their own, and the moats would be regularly maintained, preferably by nuns since they know a lot about water. Next I’d invent a new type of cow bell, more similar in shape and sound to a jingle bell on a cat’s collar, but with the same volume emitted as a standard cow bell, and replace those nasty old cow collars with that new and improved model, lighter and more fashionable. I can imagine after cows around the globe adopt jingle bells into their routine, reindeers will feel intimidated and start a workers union, so as third act I’d meet with their union and give them unlimited oats for life on the condition they let me meet the elves, and once they accept that trade because I know those greedy mfs will, I’ll ask the elves to leave Santa and work for me as my several vice presidents which is tempting for them as right now, they’re quite a few pegs below Santa and not nearly on the level of vice Claus. When they finally accept, I’ll have successfully dismantled Santa and his North Pole operation, and as my 4th decree I’ll buy out his old land (he’s now broke because Mrs Claus left him and took their money and if he wants to stay in peak Santa shape he needs my money to fund him buying cookies,) and move parliament to the North Pole. And boom, I will have become Santa Claus, with an even bigger empire as populations have increased without the threat of volcanic eruptions, which was the end goal all along. Than for Christmas of that year, an ant farm will fs be mine. #clintbarton #hawkeye #capcut #trendingsong #fyp - @malariaotm