@matthewrobertwess: Writing - 7/20/2026 Lately I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I'm a little over 50 days away from 1,000 days sober, and that's honestly hard to wrap my head around. Sobriety didn't magically fix my life. If anything, it forced me to finally feel everything I'd spent years trying to numb. I've had to sit with grief instead of running from it. I've had to face anxiety, heartbreak, loneliness, fear, and disappointment with nothing to hide behind. Every emotion shows up, and every day I've had to learn how to carry it instead of escaping it. I remember waking up every morning in filth and self hatred. Feeling horrible from the night before just to repeat it again and again. Looking at myself in the mirror and not even seeing a man. All I ever seen was a coward. There was a long time where I slept on a mattress on my floor because that's all I had. I lived in a mess that mirrored how I felt inside. I've lost people I thought would always be in my life. I've trusted people who ultimately walked away, and for a long time I wondered if they only came into my life to teach me what it felt like to be abandoned. Some days, I questioned whether I was ever going to feel okay again. But somewhere along the way, I realized healing isn't one big moment. It's hundreds of tiny decisions that nobody applauds. It's choosing to get out of bed. It's choosing to move your body when your mind tells you not to. Choosing meditation. Choosing to journal instead of bottling everything up. Choosing to create music instead of letting everything stay trapped inside. Music and writing have saved my life more times than I can count. They became a place where I could put all the things I didn't know how to say out loud. Recently, I finally got a real bed after sleeping on a mattress on the floor for years. It probably doesn't seem like a big deal to most people, but to me it was a reminder that no matter how long it takes, the journey always leaves gifts along the way. I'm still healing. I still have hard days. I still carry things that I wish I didn't. But I also carry hope now. If there's one thing sobriety has taught me, it's that strength isn't pretending you're okay. Strength is waking up every day, knowing the weight you're carrying, and choosing to keep moving anyway. You are not weak because life feels heavy. You are not behind because healing is taking longer than you hoped. You are not alone, even if your mind keeps trying to convince you that you are. I'm not where I want to be yet. But I’m thankful I'm not where I used to be. Please Keep going. #sober #fyp #selflovejourney #journey #Love

M.Wessel.Music

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Monday 20 July 2026 22:22:15 GMT