@narcfamilies: Hi, it's Juliana! You're asking them for something they can't give you. Narcissistic parents often struggle with black-and-white thinking. This means they see themselves as either all good or all bad. So when you ask for accountability... They don't feel like you're asking them to own a specific moment. They feel like you're asking them to decide whether they're all good or all bad. But they can't really do that. 1.) They can't see themselves as all bad. 2.) They can't say they're all good because you're pointing out something bad they did. And 3.) they can't just sit there and say nothing because you're waiting for a response. So what do they do? They try to get you to decide for them. Instead of responding to what you said: "I just want you to acknowledge what happened." They play the victim: "Why? So you can hate me even more than you already do?" Now the focus of the conversation isn't what they did. It's how you feel about them. So instead of pushing for accountability... You're trying to prove you don't hate them. And because of their black-and-white thinking... If you don't hate them, that must mean they're all good. Because in their mind... They'd have to be all bad for you to hate them. If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me. My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us. To your healing, Juliana ❤️‍🩹

Narcissistic Families

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Wednesday 22 July 2026 02:37:01 GMT