@horriblemeanbadwoman: There are men who enjoy making women afraid, but there are also men who make you afraid, and then punish you for being afraid. ***VIDEO TRANSCRIPT*** (A white woman with dark hair wearing a brown shirt lying in bed.) "I made a post a little while ago about how I think a red flag in a man is when he makes a big deal out of women's startle response, and at the time I described it as a "subtle" red flag. But actually, in retrospect, it's really not that subtle. It should be blaring alarms. The reason why I'm coming back to this is because a lot of women and other people commented with details of some of their experiences of men doing exactly this, making a big deal out of them being easily startled, or even getting irritable or angry about it, and I think reading through some of those things helped me connect some dots when it comes to my own experiences. I think at this point, those of us with any feminist consciousness or awareness of DV, gendered violence, dynamics, male violence against women and so on, understand that there are men who enjoy making women and sometimes other men feel afraid and get a real kick out of it. And that is very scary and very disturbing, there's no doubt about it. There is another type of man, who personally I find scarier, who is provoked by a woman showing signs of fear. They will do terrible, terrifying, violent, dangerous, destructive things around you, and then if you flinch or show any fear or react, or even acknowledge that's what's happening, they are provoked further into anger and rage and violence by your reaction. They will create a situation where you have a natural human fear response, and then they condition you to not even be free to express that fear. That's diabolical. To me that type of abuse is better described as "interpersonal t*rrorism". Their violence terrifies you but you can't show that you're afraid, otherwise that'll provoke them into more violence. And that is how you can end up with, say, a woman whose affect is so flattened that she's frequently assumed to be autistic, when it is in fact PTSD so severe that it's practically brain damage. Or so I've heard. Anyway the reason why I wanted to come back to this is because a man who makes a big deal persistently out of a woman's subtle response, or is provoked by it, or angered by it is really not a subtle red flag at all. It's actually a huge flashing red light for a man who will make you afraid, and then hurt you more for showing that you're afraid. And you might end up becoming a woman with a severely impaired ability to express emotions and an inability to talk about it without your hands shaking. It is not okay, it is not normal for anyone to react with anger to you expressing discomfort, whether they think that discomfort is warranted or proportionate or not. And it is that deep." #DV #WomenEmpowerment #Abuse #Relationships #Trauma

Sarah

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Wednesday 22 July 2026 06:18:48 GMT