Rachael :
Addressing CNC as a SA, 🍇 , and spousal abuse survivor; Most of us have ways to deal with our abuse. Those can look different and ALL of those paths are fantastic IF THEY HELP YOU HEAL. Just because *YOU* do not understand that some of us create spaces with trusted individuals to practice skills we wish we had to protect ourselves doesn’t mean it is wrong. Most of us who do these things recognize that our methods are not the way MOST people heal. Most of us realize that our methods can be dangerous and we go in VERY risk aware. Majority of us are not having ONS with people and *asking for this*! These things happen in a valued relationship with trust, kinks, safe words/sayings, very clear boundaries, no questions asked when we use our safe word but often have someone who recognizes *WHERE WE ARE IN THE MOMENT* and will stop if we are overwhelmed or clearly well past where we wanted to go. This is *OUR* choice to heal this way. It’s not for everyone and we certainly are not forcing our way of healing on to others, as many of you in this comments sections are trying to do.. As far as the ideas that no one is fantasizing 🍇, murder, etc., people fantasizes EVERYTHING, every day! There’s literally a tv series that documents someone’s “romantic relationship with his car” where he admits to f’ing the tail pipe. I know people who fantasize killing someone while f’ing them. There are humans who create spaces in their minds telling themselves and others who think like them that women are bad because they won’t f them and k- them for that. There are humans who k- for the thrill of it. If you for a SECOND think that those adrenaline spikes are not at all similar in how they’re created, you are wrong. The science behind so much of this is so similar. We (as a whole) try to be “better” than most animals but, at the end of the day, some of us are more primally driven and some of us NEED to have a space to create better skills or ways out IF it happens again. Kink shaming is a slippery slope of shit I’d definitely stay away from. Not your jam? Cool. Walk away.. or better, explain how you found this thread if kink and dark spicy books aren’t your jam because how??
2026-07-23 14:34:23