Kina Wolfenstein
Region: US
Wednesday 22 July 2026 22:39:03 GMT
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Candy Co-creating :
both can be true. self abandonment and dissociation is a reasonable response to trauma and it can still be maladaptive.
2026-07-22 23:56:02
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Renee :
I also have an issue with women who stay in bad relationships being told they have low self esteem. they often know they are intelligent, attractive, ect. they just tolerate too much. there's a difference
2026-07-23 00:21:05
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Rachel Lunceford :
Please don’t ever go away. You’re helping so many. Thank you.
2026-07-22 23:05:02
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Roah Spextor :
Whenever me and my emotionally immature mother talk within 3 sentences I have to say I’m not having an argument with you about this and it feels like an outsider would say that’s me setting a boundary but for me it feels like just letting her win so I don’t have to keep crying in my room everyday about how awful my family treats me.
2026-07-23 02:56:07
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d s5106 :
at 66 I have great difficulty even knowing what I need or feel
2026-07-27 00:35:41
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Christine Schiefer :
Learning to love the part of me that “abandoned” myself was really healing. ❣️
2026-07-27 16:14:33
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Rosie :
I really appreciate this point. I had an old therapist who shamed me for seeking out external validation versus finding “inner worth.” She was obviously not trauma-informed lolol.
2026-07-23 01:32:08
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Alex Evenstar :
Yeah, it was never a failure in loving myself. I just got to a point where I didn't have enough of a personal identity I connected with to love. It felt like loving a Tree. Important, and growing/changing at a rate I couldn't perceive, but different from loving a human (especially one I'm "theoretically" supposed to be.)
2026-07-23 00:28:20
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✨Certified Nosey B*tch✨ :
YES. I try to reframe it to clients as a survival strategy or a coping strategy that's been incredibly helpful with keeping them alive or coping, and we don't get hooked on coping strategies that aren't effective at helping us cope.
2026-07-23 16:54:06
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j ✨🤡 :
This is something I always try to explain to my therapist like yes I know when I do abc thing in a relationship like seek hints they are about to abandon me or minimise my needs or whatever that’s not good, but I also know it often WORKS!!! Like often I would say I analyse peoples texts bc it means I can tell when they’re losing interest and I can adapt and my therapist will say but you cant really know that blah blah but the thing is I can and I do know that I can identify shifting moods bc I’ve been doing it my WHOKE LIFE! It’s literally what I’m best at of course it works
2026-07-24 07:30:15
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Laurie Kenley :
I've never bought anything so fast. THANK YOU
2026-07-24 18:16:22
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RobinExtraOrdinary :
Love this insight. ♥️For me, it’s been really helpful lately to realize that the pattern of being emotionally neglected by others has led to a pattern of emotionally neglecting myself. This has been the biggest leap forward into understanding why I should identify my needs and feelings and allow myself to figure out how to meet them
2026-07-23 12:07:19
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Alissa Rachel :
Thank you so much, listening to you is so validating 🙏 I’ve been learning how to love myself for years but I didn’t have anyone teaching me what love should be.. sometimes, without a real example or knowledge for my NS to know what’s safe, how am I just supposed to magically give it to myself?? What does self compassion even look like vs letting myself off the hook for patterns I really don’t want to repeat? I still need these basics modeled as an adult because I didn’t receive them :(
2026-07-23 01:04:43
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Eli :
remember being a teen and my mom just talking to me to give me chores, I cried and told her she never asks how I am, how I feel she mocked me for weeks
2026-07-23 19:55:37
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alihh :
Thanks for this video! Wow. Ok. I’ve felt guilty and ashamed for YEARS for doing exactly this to survive. You changed my heart in two minutes. Survival seems like self love and protection in this moment. I will not soon forget this video. ❤️
2026-07-22 23:37:52
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hbomberGuyLombardo :
..oh. I just realized why I’m so good in a crisis.
2026-07-23 00:58:21
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katie✨ :
Thank you so much for making these types of videos on Emotional Neglect. It took me so so long to see what had happened in my family growing up.
2026-07-22 22:59:09
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Luz :
Self neglect but I never learned what being taken care of is and I’m 45.
2026-07-23 09:58:47
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dariajamborska :
it made me develop schizoid personality disorder
2026-07-22 22:52:58
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Lee ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊ 🧋 :
I love your series so much thank you! I really learnt this the hard way this year I hadn’t seen my family in months and when I did no one asked me how I’d been, they just went to back to talking about themselves and me being invisible the way the system has always been. So I’ve learnt that to move forward need to take a step back from them and put myself and my needs first and I’ve neglected them for so long and realised I don’t know who I am truely
2026-07-22 23:05:40
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noooooooooooooooooooo0pe :
I wish your workbooks were more affordable. Will they ever go on sale?
2026-07-23 00:17:18
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Solly D :
Yes! I always felt guilty with those terms, like I was wrong for not prioritizing myself.
2026-07-25 16:17:46
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Bzu92 :
Self-abandonment as a necessary coping mechanism doesn’t mean it’s not self-abandonment though
2026-07-25 17:54:15
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POV ariel :
Your perspective on these topics have literally altered my brain chemistry. Thank you 🤍
2026-07-23 17:06:37
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linda :
how would you call it invested ? Genuinely curious, thank you 😊
2026-07-24 00:07:59
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