@devinedwelling: Dear diary (aka the internet), Can I be honest? When I started dating again in March, I realized I wasn’t fully showing up as myself anymore. The shame around my past started bubbling back up, and I noticed myself pulling away from the things that felt most authentic to me. Because truthfully I used to be a “pick-me” girl. I would become whoever I thought a man wanted me to be. I would soften myself, hide parts of myself, and try to be the version of me I thought would be easiest to love. Because I hadn’t dated in such a long time, I really believed I had healed that part of myself. Then I started dating again, and there she was. I also realized how much shame I was still carrying about who I used to be. I worried that if someone knew the full story, they might see me differently or decide they didn’t like me. But the irony is that I’ve built my entire career around my transformation. As hard as it is for me to look back at who I was, what I went through, and how far I let myself fall, there is no hiding from it. It is part of my story. And dating again gave me the wake-up call I needed. I never want to hide again. I never want to lose myself again. And most importantly, I never want someone to want a version of me that isn’t even me. Because pretending to be whoever I thought someone wanted is exactly how I lost myself in the first place. 2016 was one of the hardest years of my life. I saw another creator @Maggie share something similar, and it made me want to share as well. So here I am and who I used to be 😊 #GlowUp #transformation #over40women #over30women

Erin Devine | Wellness Over 40

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Friday 24 July 2026 00:23:54 GMT