james the lass
Region: US
Friday 24 July 2026 13:25:03 GMT
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[hurricane] katrina :
Look into PDA! Pathological Demand Avoidance! It’s technically on the autism spectrum and it’s a very quirky diagnosis that is hard to get because it looks a lot like ADHD but not quite… it looks a lot like autism but not quite… and everyone with it is very intelligent but hard to manage— I know because my 6yr old daughter has it and finding out that’s what it is has been life changing!
2026-07-24 18:16:57
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TasteOfComfort515 :
Boys are supposed to be active! I’m putting my Covid boy into a play based learning school. He can’t be still. But the brain is fine. He won’t have to “comply”if you will. Montessori was great but the school was not so had to switch.
2026-07-24 17:30:06
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Ibecrabby :
Have him tested through the school system. That’s the best way for him to get the supports he needs.
2026-07-24 18:07:57
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Leigh :
Sounds like he also has pathological demand avoidance. You need a neuropsych evaluation.
2026-07-24 16:00:17
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Steph & Bam :
In writing request a formal evaluation through the school district. The outside diagnosis can help with advocacy, but you need an in district evaluation to get him an IEP to get his needs met in the classroom.
2026-07-24 15:11:17
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Asher :
I had to switch doctors for my kiddo because they refused to even give us a referral to try and get an autism diagnosis, my kiddo was 5 at the time, their kindergarten teacher said they were just "lazy" we finally got the referral and diagnosis when they were 7. they are 12 now and most people don't believe they are autistic until they see my kiddo turn around and walk away without a word when someone says " hi nice to meet you " and puts a hand out to shake my kids hand 🤦. they are well spoken and very street smart but couldn't read until they were 10 , walking at 8 months old but didn't learn to blow their nose until 7 years old . document everything. everything you accommodate and what would happen if you didn't. my kid wears all their socks inside out and shoes one size to big. if we didn't let them do that they would refuse socks and shoes.
2026-07-24 16:58:47
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watersand123 :
Teacher & parent here with experience in your son’s age group with general and special education students. Suggestions: 1) In an email to the teacher request the school district do a full psychoeducational evaluation. 2) Pursue private evaluations through your own medical insurance if you have coverage. Ask your pediatrician for guidance. 3) Ask your Pediatrician if they think that ABA may benefit him. 4) At home, follow a schedule and have rules and consequences-disability or not. 5) A strict bed time and meal times are important. 6) Zero -and I mean zero IPad or cell phone access. 7) Put him in group sports or activities. Start with a social skills play group.
2026-07-29 15:47:01
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marshamoore2025 :
Yes, this!!!!! These kids find other neurodivergent to be their buddies. I have the same kind of family background, with the level 1 autism sprinkled throughout, along with Bipolar. You don’t get an accurate diagnosis because science doesn’t really understand it yet—-especially if the kid is twice exceptional. My kid graduated college and works in Tech, but also still has all of the special interests. The melt-downs get better. My kid had the melt-downs mostly at home. My kid never had a 504 plan, but probably should have.
2026-07-25 01:01:45
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appleuser54468697 :
Was the December evaluation through the school? If so, the “diagnostic” (sped eligibility) criteria are different than criteria for a medical diagnosis. Kids can have a medical diagnosis and qualify for services outside of school but not qualify for special education services at school under the special education category of autism.
2026-07-25 20:35:15
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Beks 🇺🇸🏳️🌈✊🏿 :
Search for a therapist that is experienced/specilized with autism and explain that you have it and know how to work with it. He will really need the accommodations for school. Brilliant AuDHD folks are great and challenging. Do not give up. Keep trying. It is exhausting because of your own diagnoses… I feel that in my soul.
2026-07-24 17:43:37
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jenjens_closet :
Sounds exactly like my son who is autistic and has PDA. It was a struggle to get him diagnosed because he is very social and most doctors looked at him once and said nope not autistic.
2026-07-24 16:49:31
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AC :
We had a very similar story 3K preK was fine (they were accommodating) kindergarten was like the wheels fell off the bus! The expectations & environment changed so drastically (play based hands on learning vs. 1.5hrs of seated math instruction) We didn’t see the issues at home because well we don’t do 1.5hrs of seated math for one! Was on waitlists 1.5-2yrs long! Thankfully got a last min cancellation and get an eval & diagnosis of AuDHD, language and sensory as well. It’s been a long road with school, lots of therapy and medication was a game changer for him, he’s now thriving. 💕
2026-07-26 03:05:30
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theytellmeicanchangethis :
Possible he’s just greater autistic phenotype, which us super common in family members with ASD. But also yes if your child is high masking/intelligent/female/or a POC, it’s often harder to get a diagnosis. Please look at the PDA profile of autism.
2026-07-25 04:58:40
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Alice :
I have multiple bright kids who have adhd and autism. They’re all a bit PDA. We didn’t get really solid diagnoses until we did a full neuropsychiatric evaluation - there were multiple things going on at once and we needed someone really skilled to tease it apart. We paid out of pocket ($$$$) but insurance reimbursed most of it later.
2026-07-31 19:23:17
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blahblahblahaileen :
I relate so much as a teacher 😭 I’ll accommodate for kids and try to advocate for them & the parents and the board don’t think they need it but I’m like…the things I’m doing should be on a 504 or IEP & they’re about to go to middle school. It is hard too when the kid is not failing academically & are “showing growth”. Sometimes the only reason why they aren’t failing is bc I’m doing a bunch of extra stuff. It’s like I have to let them fail to get them the help they need.
2026-07-24 16:55:40
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NoodlesTheLongDog :
Don’t even worry about getting a medical diagnosis..... email the school asking for an assessment. They can run a battery of tests and it sounds like he would get approved for a educational diagnosis which is different than a medical diagnosis, but that will allow the school to give him accommodations through an IEP.
2026-07-24 16:48:21
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Hoyden3.0 :
This sounds oh so familiar-twice- they are now 17 and 12 and doing pretty good. I believe both have anxiety problems that looked like other problems. The oldest takes medication for it as of recently and it has helped. The 12 year old (who was really having problems in 2nd and 3rd grade has made tremendous progress with Neuro feedback therapy, and I recommend it before worrying about diagnosis
2026-07-25 02:11:41
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Theschmickens :
When my son was having hard time with sitting on the sit spots on the carpet- the teacher have him a special chair. He used it for a couple months and then was able to jeep his wiggle but sat down the rest of the year. I can ask what it was because it worked!
2026-07-24 15:56:58
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Rachael :
I have had trouble getting an official diagnosis because I homeschool and I didn’t have a teacher to confirm what I was saying.
2026-07-24 16:09:39
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VictoriaLazlo :
I think what you’re saying is what we discovered in my household. All of us are neurodivergent. We had no idea until my daughter got tested. So because we were all neurodivergent, we were accommodating for each other. Which, obviously, does not happen in the outside world.
2026-07-24 17:57:53
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Boxmunk :
One of my kids has hyperactive ADHD and the other has inattentive ADHD and autism, which is the same diagnosis I have. My kids were both assessed for ADHD by a neurological psychologist. They did many hours worth of testing. I accommodate my kids at home, but it was still easy for them to assess and diagnose them. Have you done formal testing yet for ADHD? My daughter didn’t quite meet the diagnostic threshold for autism in part because we accommodate her, but the doctor admitted that she likely is autistic but not “disordered” enough to meet the diagnostic criteria yet. Her 504 at school is for ADHD, but some of her autistic needs are accommodated under that umbrella.
2026-07-24 17:35:09
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Leah Moore :
The school can also put into place some supports too. Teachers love to know what works at home for students.
2026-07-24 15:55:07
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GrammyTalk/Bright Future :
The daycare quit telling you because it did no good to tell you. I’ve been there. At 6 he needs a good diagnosis to get the help he needs. Request it of the school, and pressure them to get him assessed. This is very difficult for his teachers and his classmates. Maybe play therapy?
2026-07-24 17:57:18
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robloxunicirn :
Level 1 if he gets explosive on demands google PDA Get a Neuropsych eval. Then in writing to the school request a full IEP eval across all areas and settings from bell to bell including a functional behavioral assessment
2026-07-25 21:03:30
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Roaringimaginations :
Put it all in writing. Keep a journal of behaviors and what you do as support. I kept asking for evaluation at parent teacher conferences and kept getting the run around so put in a formal request. In first grade it became too much for her and she had a huge burnout/shutdown period. Would cry all day everyday at school. It was awful. Even then it took months and she cried ALL day was not herself talking about wishing she had never been born. And we stuck had to wait around 3 months. The waiting period was heartbreaking and socially isolated her. At this loint thr school agreed to do the evaluation and bumped her up because of “behavior (crying). We moved schools it got so bad. she was disregulated during the evaluation and the old teacher had filled it out like she was just naughty (crying for attention). So she did get the ADHD diagnosis and “emotional” but not autism. So she will be up for accessing this year and we will see. I had her clinically evaluated at the same time so they used the same teachers questioner. But clinically she also got Sensory processing disorder and generalized anxiety. Also her phycologist said sometimes going on ADHD meds can bring out the autism traits that were hidden by the ADHD.
2026-07-24 16:05:08
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